ext_118080 (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
goodbyelover.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
writetomyheart2014-10-05 09:03 pm
goodbyelover.livejournal.com) wrote in writetomyheart2014-10-05 09:03 pm
[Team One] Cracks in the galaxy
So I'm not entirely satisfied with the entirety of this, but I like parts of it too much to try and overhaul it. Also, this isn't really about EXO dealing with Kris leaving, but rather just using that event as a creative springboard? I dunno if that makes sense. IN ANY CASE.
Also hella thank you to Ansa for giving me the best opening words ever? Hello. +_+ ♥
(Warning for character death, though idk if this really counts for the tissue tag...)
Flames fill the cremation chamber and the sight burns itself into Sehun’s memory.
Beside him, someone cries. He doesn’t look, can’t look away from those flickering flames and all that remains of Yifan.
They shouldn’t be here.
At first, he thinks this because they shouldn’t be right here. They shouldn’t be watching as the Father himself tends to ceremony, because how is this supposed to help? Will watching the decimation of Yifan’s body make Yixing talk after days of silence? Or make Baekhyun smile because he hasn’t really done that lately?
Will watching make Sehun feel like he can breathe again?
He soon realizes, however, that they shouldn’t be here at all. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.
This isn’t what victory feels like, the sickening thud of Sehun’s heartbeat.
(He doesn’t think about how Zitao screams at night, in his dreams, trying to turn back time. He doesn’t think about how Chanyeol keeps bursting into flames at the drop of a pin.)
(He doesn’t think about the grief that he cannot fathom.)
They watch as a corpse is burned to the point where it is stripped of flesh, and then as the skeleton is gently pushed into oblivion. ‘Rest in peace’ comes to mind, and Sehun would laugh, harsh and angry, because before him rests pieces of the universe.
He loses track of time – or someone loses it for him – and the Father is shutting the machine off, allowing the flames to die. A coldness settles in the place of the heat and the roar, and it bites deep, like an anchor for the shudder that runs through them all. Yifan had burned bright, and the darkness left in his wake was staggering.
The Father watches them carefully. Sadly.
(Sehun is thankful he doesn’t say he’s sorry. Sorry had stopped being good enough after the universe had been thrust into their too-young-too-naive hands for protection.)
The ashes are to be swept into an urn that Baekhyun’s been clutching, to be scattered by the Winterfalls but the Father carefully reaches and gingerly withdraws something dark blue and gently glowing.
It’s Yifan’s heartstar.
He holds it out, cradled in his palms, and Chanyeol makes an aborted movement towards it, but stops and turns to Zitao, his eyes red and puffy as he looks at the boy standing next to Sehun.
“Do you…?” Chanyeol finally asks, softer and more understanding that he’d ever been with Zitao in the past. Sehun wonders with bitterness undeserved by all if they would have been able to reach this kind of tenderness without the loss of Yifan.
Sehun finally looks over to find Zitao wearing that hollow, helpless expression that Sehun has come to despise. He’s not crying like the others, but Sehun knows that Zitao’s run out of tears to shed, that he has slammed through every stage of grief and was now at a dead end with no escape. He’s standing next to Sehun, but he feels like a lifetime away, and Sehun doesn’t have the heart to reach out and try and pull him back, because he doesn’t understand, he doesn’t know.
He doesn’t know if he can find Zitao when Zitao is so lost.
So it’s Chanyeol who reaches out, who presses Yifan’s heartstar into Zitao’s fingers and doesn’t let go. It’s Chanyeol that Zitao collapses against, a piece of the universe clutched between them and it hurts to watch them. It hurts beyond any words that Sehun possesses.
So he watches, an outsider, as Chanyeol pulls Zitao back into orbit.
Tag for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
omoikkiri
Also hella thank you to Ansa for giving me the best opening words ever? Hello. +_+ ♥
(Warning for character death, though idk if this really counts for the tissue tag...)
Flames fill the cremation chamber and the sight burns itself into Sehun’s memory.
Beside him, someone cries. He doesn’t look, can’t look away from those flickering flames and all that remains of Yifan.
They shouldn’t be here.
At first, he thinks this because they shouldn’t be right here. They shouldn’t be watching as the Father himself tends to ceremony, because how is this supposed to help? Will watching the decimation of Yifan’s body make Yixing talk after days of silence? Or make Baekhyun smile because he hasn’t really done that lately?
Will watching make Sehun feel like he can breathe again?
He soon realizes, however, that they shouldn’t be here at all. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.
This isn’t what victory feels like, the sickening thud of Sehun’s heartbeat.
(He doesn’t think about how Zitao screams at night, in his dreams, trying to turn back time. He doesn’t think about how Chanyeol keeps bursting into flames at the drop of a pin.)
(He doesn’t think about the grief that he cannot fathom.)
They watch as a corpse is burned to the point where it is stripped of flesh, and then as the skeleton is gently pushed into oblivion. ‘Rest in peace’ comes to mind, and Sehun would laugh, harsh and angry, because before him rests pieces of the universe.
He loses track of time – or someone loses it for him – and the Father is shutting the machine off, allowing the flames to die. A coldness settles in the place of the heat and the roar, and it bites deep, like an anchor for the shudder that runs through them all. Yifan had burned bright, and the darkness left in his wake was staggering.
The Father watches them carefully. Sadly.
(Sehun is thankful he doesn’t say he’s sorry. Sorry had stopped being good enough after the universe had been thrust into their too-young-too-naive hands for protection.)
The ashes are to be swept into an urn that Baekhyun’s been clutching, to be scattered by the Winterfalls but the Father carefully reaches and gingerly withdraws something dark blue and gently glowing.
It’s Yifan’s heartstar.
He holds it out, cradled in his palms, and Chanyeol makes an aborted movement towards it, but stops and turns to Zitao, his eyes red and puffy as he looks at the boy standing next to Sehun.
“Do you…?” Chanyeol finally asks, softer and more understanding that he’d ever been with Zitao in the past. Sehun wonders with bitterness undeserved by all if they would have been able to reach this kind of tenderness without the loss of Yifan.
Sehun finally looks over to find Zitao wearing that hollow, helpless expression that Sehun has come to despise. He’s not crying like the others, but Sehun knows that Zitao’s run out of tears to shed, that he has slammed through every stage of grief and was now at a dead end with no escape. He’s standing next to Sehun, but he feels like a lifetime away, and Sehun doesn’t have the heart to reach out and try and pull him back, because he doesn’t understand, he doesn’t know.
He doesn’t know if he can find Zitao when Zitao is so lost.
So it’s Chanyeol who reaches out, who presses Yifan’s heartstar into Zitao’s fingers and doesn’t let go. It’s Chanyeol that Zitao collapses against, a piece of the universe clutched between them and it hurts to watch them. It hurts beyond any words that Sehun possesses.
So he watches, an outsider, as Chanyeol pulls Zitao back into orbit.
Tag for
omoikkiri
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject