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writetomyheart2014-10-31 02:49 pm
snow.livejournal.com) wrote in writetomyheart2014-10-31 02:49 pm
[team three] Chance
Happy Halloween, land of shiritori ☆
For Aida, who regularly cries with me about assignments/exams/exhaustion/Sou in general~
Starting with English homework had been a bad idea, Genta thinks, because he can't concentrate on it to save his life - but then, he wasn't able to concentrate on anything, not really. The only subject he's able to focus on for more than fifteen seconds at any given time is Sou, and for all the good that's doing him, he might as well be studying nuclear physics.
His phone lights up and he's about to ignore it in favor of (attempted) education until he sees Sou's name, clearly displayed on the caller ID, and his stomach turns in on itself in the best way.
"Hello?" Genta thinks he might sound a bit breathless and he hopes with all his heart that Sou doesn't notice - or, at least, doesn't ask.
"Hey. Do you have some time?"
"Sure," Genta answers, because for Sou, he has all the time in the world. "What is it?"
"Nothing, really. I just wanted to know if you're free tomorrow, if you want to go out and do something fun? Things have been kind of... well, not much fun these days."
"It's okay. I mean, it's not okay, about everything, but it's not because of you, so, I mean... okay. For tomorrow."
"Okay." Sou is laughing and the warmth of it puts a smile on Genta's face, despite his nervousness. "I'll message you."
"Sure." Genta says good night to Sou and softly slides his thumb over to end the call. He should probably start researching ways to look alive on less than two hours of sleep.
---
Despite his worst fears, Genta does manage to get some sleep that night, and wakes up with a start just after his alarm goes off, reaching for his phone and frantically checking to see if he's missed any messages. He has - a bunch of weird stickers from Kaito that make him never want to open his messages again - but, other than that, nothing. He sighs in relief and falls back against his pillows. He really needs to get a grip - he's acting like this is a date, and it isn't, at least not to Sou.
Sou's message finally arrives about an hour later, and Genta can't stop grinning. Who cares if it's not a real date - he's going to get to spend some time alone with the person he likes, and any way you look at it, that's pretty cool. He types out a reply, then deletes it, then types another reply, then deletes it, and ultimately settles for the very eloquent response of OK, see you there. He can do this, Genta tells himself, he can definitely do this because even if Sou doesn't share his feelings, Sou is still his friend, and he can definitely do this.
When he arrives at the arranged meeting place and Sou waves at him, a beautiful smile on his face, Genta thinks that he definitely cannot do this.
The problem, really, is that he wants to spend a lot of time just looking at Sou - and the bigger problem is that he isn't the only one. Genta really isn't sure what Sou's into, but even if he is into guys - which Genta thinks he might be, at least a little - he thinks that Sou can have just about anyone he wants these days and there's no way that he'd settle for someone like him. Sou should have someone who can shine as brightly as he does.
"Hello?" Sou's voice breaks through Genta's melancholy internal monologue and Genta looks up with a start.
"Oh! Sorry... I think I zoned out for a minute."
"Hey!"
"Sorry, sorry! What were you saying?"
"I was telling you... it's Halloween soon, did you forget? I wanted to dress up, but I couldn't put anything together in time, even though I've been thinking about it forever. I really wish I did, though, because now I'll have to wait until next year... and I wanted to try carving a pumpkin, too, because I've never done that before... oh, and here!"
Genta looks down as Sou presses a tiny chocolate ghost into his hand. Its little face is smiling up at him and he smiles back.
"It's so cute!"
"I some Halloween candy from Mari. I think his grandmother brought them? Anyway, I saved one for you."
"Thanks," Genta says, and he is glad that Sou was thinking of him, but the mention of Marius deflates his mood so quickly he's left almost breathless.
"... Is something wrong?"
"Huh? No, it's nothing, I just... you're spending a lot of time with Marius lately, so you get to know all of this stuff about Halloween, and everything else. I'm jealous." And he is jealous, but he leaves out the real reason why.
"Mari and I... we've become really close recently."
"What does that mean?" Genta blurts out.
"It doesn't mean anything," Sou says, very softly, and Genta frowns because there's something heavy and sad in his voice and it shouldn't be there. Sou should be happy, all the time, and if he isn't, well...
"Oh," Genta replies, not knowing what else to say. He has no experience with this sort of thing. He considers and discards multiple possible responses - do you want it to mean something? (because he's afraid of the answer) - I'm relieved (because it's selfish) - it would mean something to me (because it's too much and too honest).
"It's--"
"I like you," Genta says, quickly, before he can think about it too much, but clearly, so that there's no mistaking what he means. "It's okay that you don't return my feelings, but... I just thought..."
Sou gapes at him for a moment, clearly not having expected such a statement, and Genta's heart beats in his throat for what seems like an eternity before Sou moves closer to him, reaches for his hand, and squeezes it gently.
"I'm sorry. I really didn't know."
"I'm sure you don't have any feelings like that for me, but--"
"Why are you so sure about that?"
"But you-- I-- Sou-kun, I thought--"
Sou moves his hand to lace his fingers with Genta's and it feels as though the warmth of his skin washes over Genta's entire body, reaching all the way to his heart. He wants to scream, laugh, cry, all at the same time, and it's one of the best things he's ever felt.
"Do you want to try?"
Yes, Genta thinks, nodding enthusiastically before forcing the word past his lips. He's won the battle this time, and even if it isn't forever, he can still have right now.
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funkysparks is up next ♥
For Aida, who regularly cries with me about assignments/exams/exhaustion/Sou in general~
Starting with English homework had been a bad idea, Genta thinks, because he can't concentrate on it to save his life - but then, he wasn't able to concentrate on anything, not really. The only subject he's able to focus on for more than fifteen seconds at any given time is Sou, and for all the good that's doing him, he might as well be studying nuclear physics.
His phone lights up and he's about to ignore it in favor of (attempted) education until he sees Sou's name, clearly displayed on the caller ID, and his stomach turns in on itself in the best way.
"Hello?" Genta thinks he might sound a bit breathless and he hopes with all his heart that Sou doesn't notice - or, at least, doesn't ask.
"Hey. Do you have some time?"
"Sure," Genta answers, because for Sou, he has all the time in the world. "What is it?"
"Nothing, really. I just wanted to know if you're free tomorrow, if you want to go out and do something fun? Things have been kind of... well, not much fun these days."
"It's okay. I mean, it's not okay, about everything, but it's not because of you, so, I mean... okay. For tomorrow."
"Okay." Sou is laughing and the warmth of it puts a smile on Genta's face, despite his nervousness. "I'll message you."
"Sure." Genta says good night to Sou and softly slides his thumb over to end the call. He should probably start researching ways to look alive on less than two hours of sleep.
---
Despite his worst fears, Genta does manage to get some sleep that night, and wakes up with a start just after his alarm goes off, reaching for his phone and frantically checking to see if he's missed any messages. He has - a bunch of weird stickers from Kaito that make him never want to open his messages again - but, other than that, nothing. He sighs in relief and falls back against his pillows. He really needs to get a grip - he's acting like this is a date, and it isn't, at least not to Sou.
Sou's message finally arrives about an hour later, and Genta can't stop grinning. Who cares if it's not a real date - he's going to get to spend some time alone with the person he likes, and any way you look at it, that's pretty cool. He types out a reply, then deletes it, then types another reply, then deletes it, and ultimately settles for the very eloquent response of OK, see you there. He can do this, Genta tells himself, he can definitely do this because even if Sou doesn't share his feelings, Sou is still his friend, and he can definitely do this.
When he arrives at the arranged meeting place and Sou waves at him, a beautiful smile on his face, Genta thinks that he definitely cannot do this.
The problem, really, is that he wants to spend a lot of time just looking at Sou - and the bigger problem is that he isn't the only one. Genta really isn't sure what Sou's into, but even if he is into guys - which Genta thinks he might be, at least a little - he thinks that Sou can have just about anyone he wants these days and there's no way that he'd settle for someone like him. Sou should have someone who can shine as brightly as he does.
"Hello?" Sou's voice breaks through Genta's melancholy internal monologue and Genta looks up with a start.
"Oh! Sorry... I think I zoned out for a minute."
"Hey!"
"Sorry, sorry! What were you saying?"
"I was telling you... it's Halloween soon, did you forget? I wanted to dress up, but I couldn't put anything together in time, even though I've been thinking about it forever. I really wish I did, though, because now I'll have to wait until next year... and I wanted to try carving a pumpkin, too, because I've never done that before... oh, and here!"
Genta looks down as Sou presses a tiny chocolate ghost into his hand. Its little face is smiling up at him and he smiles back.
"It's so cute!"
"I some Halloween candy from Mari. I think his grandmother brought them? Anyway, I saved one for you."
"Thanks," Genta says, and he is glad that Sou was thinking of him, but the mention of Marius deflates his mood so quickly he's left almost breathless.
"... Is something wrong?"
"Huh? No, it's nothing, I just... you're spending a lot of time with Marius lately, so you get to know all of this stuff about Halloween, and everything else. I'm jealous." And he is jealous, but he leaves out the real reason why.
"Mari and I... we've become really close recently."
"What does that mean?" Genta blurts out.
"It doesn't mean anything," Sou says, very softly, and Genta frowns because there's something heavy and sad in his voice and it shouldn't be there. Sou should be happy, all the time, and if he isn't, well...
"Oh," Genta replies, not knowing what else to say. He has no experience with this sort of thing. He considers and discards multiple possible responses - do you want it to mean something? (because he's afraid of the answer) - I'm relieved (because it's selfish) - it would mean something to me (because it's too much and too honest).
"It's--"
"I like you," Genta says, quickly, before he can think about it too much, but clearly, so that there's no mistaking what he means. "It's okay that you don't return my feelings, but... I just thought..."
Sou gapes at him for a moment, clearly not having expected such a statement, and Genta's heart beats in his throat for what seems like an eternity before Sou moves closer to him, reaches for his hand, and squeezes it gently.
"I'm sorry. I really didn't know."
"I'm sure you don't have any feelings like that for me, but--"
"Why are you so sure about that?"
"But you-- I-- Sou-kun, I thought--"
Sou moves his hand to lace his fingers with Genta's and it feels as though the warmth of his skin washes over Genta's entire body, reaching all the way to his heart. He wants to scream, laugh, cry, all at the same time, and it's one of the best things he's ever felt.
"Do you want to try?"
Yes, Genta thinks, nodding enthusiastically before forcing the word past his lips. He's won the battle this time, and even if it isn't forever, he can still have right now.
funkysparks is up next ♥