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writetomyheart2012-05-22 07:38 pm
alienashi.livejournal.com) wrote in writetomyheart2012-05-22 07:38 pm
Entry tags:
secret | koki/ueda
--
A Quidditch player flies on a broomstick and lands on the ground whenever the Snitch is caught. Ueda’s not a Quidditch player, but he flies with his invisible wings and lands on the stage when the song ends.
Koki knows it when Ueda can’t be disturbed. He’s not a very attentive listener nor a consistent chatterbox (when he talks though, Koki recalls, he really talks), but when Ueda’s eyes look straight at something in front of him, look past that something in front of him, Koki stops talking and lets Ueda’s mind wander for a moment.
He’s kind of magical, Koki thinks. Ueda’s the kind of guy nobody really understands, not even Nakamaru, but it’s okay.
It’s okay because it means nobody else knows Ueda but Ueda himself and Koki sort of admires the certainty within doubt, the way Ueda has his own two feet steady on the ground despite the occasional detachment into the unknown dimension.
--
Ueda once lied about seeing fairies, grew half-hearted about being a hardcore rockstar, and eventually fell in love with the tumult of royal families and deconstruction of fairy tales.
He complains about never being recognised as a man but whines about no longer possessing the feminine image that befits ~again and Koki sighs, realising that he doesn’t really know Ueda either.
But it’s okay. He loves willingly, he loves deeply, and even if the people he loves don’t love him back the way he does, they love him back anyway.
--
“Tell me a secret,” Ueda says, the last note he plays on his keyboard lingering in the air. His dark hoodie covers his head and he looks more menacing than mysterious, probably the fault of the room’s lighting.
Koki’s face is blank. “I don’t have any.”
Ueda goes back to his keyboard and plays the improvised version of the song he played earlier and Koki stands there, waiting for him to finish his song and start a new sentence.
“You have one,” Ueda states when he finishes his song. “In fact you have many, so tell me just one.”
--
Koki once shaved his head clean, got tramp stamps in places so embarrassing he would rather die than show them, and eventually grew his hair and shaved his face clean.
“You’re pretty,” Ueda says. “Is this your secret?”
Koki shakes his head. “You’re ridiculous.”
--
Music connects them both, but music connects a lot of people too.
Watching Ueda, Koki sees music as a mosaic, a puzzle, a maze.
--
“What do you think about when you write your songs?” Ueda asks.
Girls. Politics. Girls. Girls. Maybe politics. Words that sound like what rebels usually say. Words that sound like what girls usually say during…intimate moments. Back to girls.
Koki pulls Ueda close and whispers into his ear.
“My secret.”
--
There’s actually no secret, Koki admits to himself.
What’s the point of keeping a secret from Ueda, when he knows that Ueda can see right through him anyway, like he’s a piece of glass?
--
“What about you? What do you think about when you write your songs?” Koki asks him back.
There’s the familiar distance in Ueda’s eyes again, and Koki shifts away.
--
Some time later, Koki asks Ueda. “It’s a secret, right?”
“What?”
“The answer to my question, when I asked what you think about when your write your songs.”
“Not really.”
“Why? You looked like you refused to tell me anything.”
“I don’t know what to tell you,” Ueda answers. “I thought you can see right through me.”
--
Koki sees Ueda as the humanoid version of the concept of simple complexity, the solvable puzzle, the organised entanglement.
Koki used to think that Ueda was a genius, but he discovers that geniuses exist because people can’t explain strangeness.
--
“I have a secret to tell,” Koki says and Ueda’s ears perk like a puppy’s.
“What?”
Koki pulls Ueda close and whispers into his ear.
“I—“
In a split second, there’s a pair of lips pressing on his and Koki’s shock lasts for a few seconds before he leans in and kisses Ueda back, slowly but certainly.
“You see right through me,” Koki says when they part.
“Maybe I do, it’s my secret.”
Ueda grins, and Koki finds an invitation in those eyes, the ones looking straight at him.
--
Someday, Koki vows, Ueda will tell him his secret, and he will tell Ueda his own.
--
A Quidditch player flies on a broomstick and lands on the ground whenever the Snitch is caught. Ueda’s not a Quidditch player, but he flies with his invisible wings and lands on the stage when the song ends.
Koki knows it when Ueda can’t be disturbed. He’s not a very attentive listener nor a consistent chatterbox (when he talks though, Koki recalls, he really talks), but when Ueda’s eyes look straight at something in front of him, look past that something in front of him, Koki stops talking and lets Ueda’s mind wander for a moment.
He’s kind of magical, Koki thinks. Ueda’s the kind of guy nobody really understands, not even Nakamaru, but it’s okay.
It’s okay because it means nobody else knows Ueda but Ueda himself and Koki sort of admires the certainty within doubt, the way Ueda has his own two feet steady on the ground despite the occasional detachment into the unknown dimension.
--
Ueda once lied about seeing fairies, grew half-hearted about being a hardcore rockstar, and eventually fell in love with the tumult of royal families and deconstruction of fairy tales.
He complains about never being recognised as a man but whines about no longer possessing the feminine image that befits ~again and Koki sighs, realising that he doesn’t really know Ueda either.
But it’s okay. He loves willingly, he loves deeply, and even if the people he loves don’t love him back the way he does, they love him back anyway.
--
“Tell me a secret,” Ueda says, the last note he plays on his keyboard lingering in the air. His dark hoodie covers his head and he looks more menacing than mysterious, probably the fault of the room’s lighting.
Koki’s face is blank. “I don’t have any.”
Ueda goes back to his keyboard and plays the improvised version of the song he played earlier and Koki stands there, waiting for him to finish his song and start a new sentence.
“You have one,” Ueda states when he finishes his song. “In fact you have many, so tell me just one.”
--
Koki once shaved his head clean, got tramp stamps in places so embarrassing he would rather die than show them, and eventually grew his hair and shaved his face clean.
“You’re pretty,” Ueda says. “Is this your secret?”
Koki shakes his head. “You’re ridiculous.”
--
Music connects them both, but music connects a lot of people too.
Watching Ueda, Koki sees music as a mosaic, a puzzle, a maze.
--
“What do you think about when you write your songs?” Ueda asks.
Girls. Politics. Girls. Girls. Maybe politics. Words that sound like what rebels usually say. Words that sound like what girls usually say during…intimate moments. Back to girls.
Koki pulls Ueda close and whispers into his ear.
“My secret.”
--
There’s actually no secret, Koki admits to himself.
What’s the point of keeping a secret from Ueda, when he knows that Ueda can see right through him anyway, like he’s a piece of glass?
--
“What about you? What do you think about when you write your songs?” Koki asks him back.
There’s the familiar distance in Ueda’s eyes again, and Koki shifts away.
--
Some time later, Koki asks Ueda. “It’s a secret, right?”
“What?”
“The answer to my question, when I asked what you think about when your write your songs.”
“Not really.”
“Why? You looked like you refused to tell me anything.”
“I don’t know what to tell you,” Ueda answers. “I thought you can see right through me.”
--
Koki sees Ueda as the humanoid version of the concept of simple complexity, the solvable puzzle, the organised entanglement.
Koki used to think that Ueda was a genius, but he discovers that geniuses exist because people can’t explain strangeness.
--
“I have a secret to tell,” Koki says and Ueda’s ears perk like a puppy’s.
“What?”
Koki pulls Ueda close and whispers into his ear.
“I—“
In a split second, there’s a pair of lips pressing on his and Koki’s shock lasts for a few seconds before he leans in and kisses Ueda back, slowly but certainly.
“You see right through me,” Koki says when they part.
“Maybe I do, it’s my secret.”
Ueda grins, and Koki finds an invitation in those eyes, the ones looking straight at him.
--
Someday, Koki vows, Ueda will tell him his secret, and he will tell Ueda his own.
--
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*_________* This is so pretty though. All the music and words and secrets and Ueda ♥
Koki sees Ueda as the humanoid version of the concept of simple complexity, the solvable puzzle, the organised entanglement.
Koki used to think that Ueda was a genius, but he discovers that geniuses exist because people can’t explain strangeness.
↑ This has to be my favorite part though, I'm just all *_* over it, wlkajfsd ♥
(Also, welcome ♥)
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dfghjkjh thank you so much!
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omg Joo my heart???????
“Why? You looked like you refused to tell me anything.”
“I don’t know what to tell you,” Ueda answers. “I thought you can see right through me.”
dgjkskjgkfsjgkfjhfkjhg ;_______; ?????????????? I love you?????
ugh shut up I have too many feelings this is such a pretty interplay of their feelings and back and forth and it all fits and omg Joo ;__; *crumbles* ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
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♥ *clings* i love you too <3333333
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I really like the way you wrote Koki here, the way his thoughts process in the little glimpses and bits and pieces. I also like how the fic develops and the point where Koki realizes that they've both been thinking similar things about each other and not completely different things (I thought you could see right through me).
The division into little snippets is like having a real stream of consciousness, like, no coherent looooong thought and scene but rather little bits here and there, like how the mind can jump from one place to another and then connect the pieces to form a whole? (...omg my explanations don't make sense do they?)
really, really enjoyed this :D/
looking forward to read more of your writing next round!
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thank you so much for the feedback *clings*
i do like them, a lot, and yes, till today there are actually not many kotatsu fics around. tragedy, if you ask me T___T
i'm glad that it makes sense to you, and i'm so happy that you like it, i'm looking forward to writing the next round too!
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lol I like the namesmash XD kotatsu~
yeah... I used to write them once upon a time but those fics are so old, I don't have the confidence to show them anymore ^^;
omg n00b fic arghand yeah there doesn't seem to be much of the pairing around :(:D/ yay~
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yea :(:(
i take consolation that at least it's not as rare as say, taguchi/nakamaruawwww that's so cute!translation: mission to hunt XDwheeeeeee *squishes*
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:( *sigh*
oh hey I wrote that pairing, too... before the akame bandwaggon drove me to write well akame fic to get at least some people to read something...*cough* nooo do not look at my very embarrassing noob fangirl past!:D *squishes back*
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I don't really ship anyone in KAT-TUN, but this is really sweet, and UEDA akdsfjlasdkfjladskfjaldskfjalsdkfjasldkfjalsd. And Koki, awwwwwwww XD
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