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writetomyheart2014-09-26 07:09 pm
snow.livejournal.com) wrote in writetomyheart2014-09-26 07:09 pm
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[team three] Traction
Hello ♥ I'm Mimi & I am one of the many new shiritori-ers! I have now written my first thing. I hope to write many more things (of dubious & varying quality)! よろしくね ☆
The performance referenced in this fic took place on yesterday's M Sute. I did not enjoy it. I wrote this largely to cheer up myself and![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
faded_lace so I hope it does its job, at least a little bit!
He accepts gratefully when he's offered a bottle of water - not that he particularly needs it, but it gives him something to do with his hands and it gets him out of having to participate in conversations he's rather not be part of, gives him a chance to go find a quiet seat away from the others for a while. Today's performance had been confusing at best and depressing at worst, and Reia can't wait to get out of here and try to put it out of his mind. It's getting harder and harder to do that now, though, watching people he's barely had time to get to know pass him as though he - and his career - are standing still - maybe even going backwards. He doesn't know for sure. It isn't that he wants fame, or glory, or anything like that... he just wants to be recognized for the work he does and for the effort he puts in, and it's not happening anymore, and it makes him feel a little bit lost.
It's disconcerting enough at the best of times, when he's still with his friends, when nothing has changed much except for where he stands and what he wears, and though he knows he should be upset - knows it does mean something, no matter how fervently they try to tell him it doesn't - that kind of thing really doesn't matter to him as long as he can see his friends, especially Jinguji, shining. He doesn't need to be the sun, as long as he can catch a little of its light sometimes.
It's a thousand times worse when Nagase and Hirano are there, whispering and smirking, acting like they own the place, and therefore everyone in it by extension. It makes Reia's skin crawl, like they're all under a microscope. They have none of Reia's (somewhat willful) ignorance - they know exactly where everyone stands, and therefore they know whose standing is higher than theirs, who they need to impress. Reia is definitely not one of those people. He understood that during Crea and he understands it now. There is no place for him in their world - not that he wants to be there, anyway.
Reia's about to stand up, collect himself and collect his things and get out of there, when Nagase appears suddenly in the doorway, looking as surprised to see Reia as Reia is to see him. His look of surprise quickly turns into a smile, but it's never a normal smile with Nagase, never an easy one. Reia can't figure Nagase out, can't understand what his motivations are, and though he's sure he must have reasons for his actions, some kind of ambition or history that makes him do what he does, he'd prefer not to get close enough to try to find out. Nagase slouches against the doorframe, looking Reia up and down, and shows no sign of moving away. Reia sets his jaw, hoping he can just walk past Nagase without incident, but then Jinguji barrels through the doorway, practically tripping over Nagase as though his presence doesn't even register, calling for Reia with a voice so loud that he might as well be trying to give an MC without a microphone - and if anyone could do that, Reia idly thinks, it would be Jinguji.
"Reia! What's--"
Jinguji notices Nagase only when he sees Reia staring at him, and his eyes narrow instantly, as though Nagase has offended him merely by existing in the same space and occupying any of Reia's time or attention. He takes a step toward Nagase, almost as though he's challenging him to say something, to do something, and Reia knows he has to act or this could end very, very badly for both of them, because Jinguji never thinks. He reaches out to grab Jinguji's wrist and holds on gently but firmly.
"Don't. It's alright."
To his credit, and nearly to Reia's disbelief, Jinguji stops, looking down at Reia's hand. Nagase turns on his heel and strides off as Jinguji turns back to Reia, seemingly at a loss for words.
"It's not alright. It's bullshit. Today was bullshit."
Reia sighs, his gaze dropping to the floor and his grip on Jinguji's wrist going lax. It isn't that he doesn't feel the same, and he knows that this is Jinguji's clumsy attempt at displaying empathy for his situation, but complaining about it won't do any good now. He just has to keep working, keep trying, and in the meantime he has to make sure that Jinguji does the same, that he doesn't do anything stupid.
"It's over. And you were great. Don't worry about me."
"So you're fine with it? This? Everything?"
"It's not that I'm fine with it, it's just... if it's not my place, then it's not my place, and there's nothing either of us can do about it."
Jinguji starts a sentence once, then twice, then seemingly gives up entirely. He turns as though he's going to leave, but then suddenly turns back around and strides over to Reia purposely, as though he's just worked up the courage to act and has to force himself to do so before he loses his nerve. He pulls Reia into his arms so quickly that Reia's moving before his brain can even process what's happening, his body pressed against Jinguji's so tightly that he can feel his heart pounding, still rushing from the earlier adrenaline, and he tucks his head against Jinguji's shoulder as Jinguji buries his face in his hair. Reia's heart is pounding now, too, threatening to beat out of his chest, and he clings to Jinguji with all the strength he has left, as though Jinguji's embrace is the only thing keeping him from crumbling to pieces, and maybe it is.
"This is your place," Jinguji growls, and the absolute vehemency, the possessiveness in his voice nearly makes Reia shudder in his arms. "You're mine and absolutely nobody is going to take you from me."
It doesn't solve all of his problems, but Reia knows that no matter what happens in the future, he can be sure of this, sure of Jinguji, and for now, it's enough.
Next up is the lovelyfunkysparks ♥
The performance referenced in this fic took place on yesterday's M Sute. I did not enjoy it. I wrote this largely to cheer up myself and
faded_lace so I hope it does its job, at least a little bit!He accepts gratefully when he's offered a bottle of water - not that he particularly needs it, but it gives him something to do with his hands and it gets him out of having to participate in conversations he's rather not be part of, gives him a chance to go find a quiet seat away from the others for a while. Today's performance had been confusing at best and depressing at worst, and Reia can't wait to get out of here and try to put it out of his mind. It's getting harder and harder to do that now, though, watching people he's barely had time to get to know pass him as though he - and his career - are standing still - maybe even going backwards. He doesn't know for sure. It isn't that he wants fame, or glory, or anything like that... he just wants to be recognized for the work he does and for the effort he puts in, and it's not happening anymore, and it makes him feel a little bit lost.
It's disconcerting enough at the best of times, when he's still with his friends, when nothing has changed much except for where he stands and what he wears, and though he knows he should be upset - knows it does mean something, no matter how fervently they try to tell him it doesn't - that kind of thing really doesn't matter to him as long as he can see his friends, especially Jinguji, shining. He doesn't need to be the sun, as long as he can catch a little of its light sometimes.
It's a thousand times worse when Nagase and Hirano are there, whispering and smirking, acting like they own the place, and therefore everyone in it by extension. It makes Reia's skin crawl, like they're all under a microscope. They have none of Reia's (somewhat willful) ignorance - they know exactly where everyone stands, and therefore they know whose standing is higher than theirs, who they need to impress. Reia is definitely not one of those people. He understood that during Crea and he understands it now. There is no place for him in their world - not that he wants to be there, anyway.
Reia's about to stand up, collect himself and collect his things and get out of there, when Nagase appears suddenly in the doorway, looking as surprised to see Reia as Reia is to see him. His look of surprise quickly turns into a smile, but it's never a normal smile with Nagase, never an easy one. Reia can't figure Nagase out, can't understand what his motivations are, and though he's sure he must have reasons for his actions, some kind of ambition or history that makes him do what he does, he'd prefer not to get close enough to try to find out. Nagase slouches against the doorframe, looking Reia up and down, and shows no sign of moving away. Reia sets his jaw, hoping he can just walk past Nagase without incident, but then Jinguji barrels through the doorway, practically tripping over Nagase as though his presence doesn't even register, calling for Reia with a voice so loud that he might as well be trying to give an MC without a microphone - and if anyone could do that, Reia idly thinks, it would be Jinguji.
"Reia! What's--"
Jinguji notices Nagase only when he sees Reia staring at him, and his eyes narrow instantly, as though Nagase has offended him merely by existing in the same space and occupying any of Reia's time or attention. He takes a step toward Nagase, almost as though he's challenging him to say something, to do something, and Reia knows he has to act or this could end very, very badly for both of them, because Jinguji never thinks. He reaches out to grab Jinguji's wrist and holds on gently but firmly.
"Don't. It's alright."
To his credit, and nearly to Reia's disbelief, Jinguji stops, looking down at Reia's hand. Nagase turns on his heel and strides off as Jinguji turns back to Reia, seemingly at a loss for words.
"It's not alright. It's bullshit. Today was bullshit."
Reia sighs, his gaze dropping to the floor and his grip on Jinguji's wrist going lax. It isn't that he doesn't feel the same, and he knows that this is Jinguji's clumsy attempt at displaying empathy for his situation, but complaining about it won't do any good now. He just has to keep working, keep trying, and in the meantime he has to make sure that Jinguji does the same, that he doesn't do anything stupid.
"It's over. And you were great. Don't worry about me."
"So you're fine with it? This? Everything?"
"It's not that I'm fine with it, it's just... if it's not my place, then it's not my place, and there's nothing either of us can do about it."
Jinguji starts a sentence once, then twice, then seemingly gives up entirely. He turns as though he's going to leave, but then suddenly turns back around and strides over to Reia purposely, as though he's just worked up the courage to act and has to force himself to do so before he loses his nerve. He pulls Reia into his arms so quickly that Reia's moving before his brain can even process what's happening, his body pressed against Jinguji's so tightly that he can feel his heart pounding, still rushing from the earlier adrenaline, and he tucks his head against Jinguji's shoulder as Jinguji buries his face in his hair. Reia's heart is pounding now, too, threatening to beat out of his chest, and he clings to Jinguji with all the strength he has left, as though Jinguji's embrace is the only thing keeping him from crumbling to pieces, and maybe it is.
"This is your place," Jinguji growls, and the absolute vehemency, the possessiveness in his voice nearly makes Reia shudder in his arms. "You're mine and absolutely nobody is going to take you from me."
It doesn't solve all of his problems, but Reia knows that no matter what happens in the future, he can be sure of this, sure of Jinguji, and for now, it's enough.
Next up is the lovely
funkysparks ♥
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This was just what I needed after last night, ahhh. ♥ Reia trying to be so mature and keeping his sadness to himself, and Jinguji being so loud about everything and not knowing what to do, or how to fix things… but in the end working up the courage to try to comfort Reia.
Reia's heart is pounding now, too, threatening to beat out of his chest, and he clings to Jinguji with all the strength he has left, as though Jinguji's embrace is the only thing keeping him from crumbling to pieces, and maybe it is.
"This is your place," Jinguji growls, and the absolute vehemency, the possessiveness in his voice nearly makes Reia shudder in his arms. "You're mine and absolutely nobody is going to take you from me."
Thissssss. The whole last three paragraphs, but especially this ;_____; ♥ I really hope that, regardless of how much everything sucks, Reia has Jinguji there to hold on to him.
I really enjoyed this. Thanks so much for helping cheer me up! ♥
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With the amount of absolute suck going on lately, I'm sure everyone is relying on their friends, & Jinguji won't let Reia down.
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I really liked this.
He doesn't need to be the sun, as long as he can catch a little of its light sometimes.
and
"This is your place," Jinguji growls, and the absolute vehemency, the possessiveness in his voice nearly makes Reia shudder in his arms. "You're mine and absolutely nobody is going to take you from me."
Protective Jinguji is my favourite.
♥ ♥
no subject
Thank you for reading & commenting! I'm glad you liked it!