[Team Four] Shinsoku
Things would be easier if I remembered how to write shorter things again tbh.
"Get in the car," Yabu said. His tone was terse, facing down the now ash-blonde boy.
Yuto crossed his arms over his chest. "No."
"This is not the time to act like a child, Yuto," Daiki admonished.
"Says the person who looks like he's forever seventeen," Yuto shot back, a smirk on his face.
"Just get in the fucking car, Yuto," Chinen said from somewhere inside the car. Said person poked his head out of the rolled-down car window as he glared at the sniper, who easily had twenty centimeters on him. “Or do you want to be manhandled into this vehicle? I mean, I know my face is prettier than yours, but somebody else might think it’s not that bad.”
"I asked for a break, man," Yuto said to Yabu, ignoring the annoyed huff that came from the car (probably still Chinen). "Not fair with the threatening."
“And I told you not to break anything,” Yabu said. “But of course you didn’t hear that, because you already broke the damn phone.”
“Geez man, I’ll buy you a new phone, chill,” Yuto said, holding up his hands.
“I invented that phone! It’s not even sold anywhere!” Daiki complained from behind Yabu.
“Invent a new one then! There’s no use crying over spilled computer chips or something,” Yuto replied. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m trying to have a life here—”
“Come on Yuto-kun,” a new voice said. “No one will get hurt if you just come quietly.
Yuto looked at the person who came out of the car, eyes widening when he realized who it was.
“You,” he said. “You were disguised as the taxi driver?!” he said.
Hikaru grinned, slinging the jacket that was part of the taxi driver’s uniform over his shoulder like the popular guy in high school that he never was (...or maybe Hikaru was somehow popular when he was in high school. Yuto wasn’t sure. The world is weird.). “So you noticed,” he said easily, like he hadn’t been caught out stalking Yuto. “I was trying so hard not to laugh. The fake mustache didn’t help one bit; it made my nose itch.”
“But that’s too unfair,” Yuto said. “The taxi driver looked so ancient!”
“Don’t you dare say a word about my wrinkles,” Hikaru said in a warning tone. He turned to glare at a smirking Daiki before turning his attention back to Yuto.
“You have to come with us Yuto,” Hikaru said. The joking tone was gone from his voice, and Yuto shifted the weight of the huge bag on his shoulder. He shook his head.
“Sorry man, but I really need the rest,” Yuto said.
“There’s an unforeseen incident,” Yabu interrupted, stepping up and gripping Hikaru’s shoulder tightly in gratitude as he took over the conversation.
Yuto raised an eyebrow. “I’m not going to fall for that secret agent crap act you have, Yabu,” he said, letting the annoyance he was feeling seep to his voice. Ryosuke was probably worried by now, and him being late and unreachable wasn’t going to help in making him worry any less.
Yabu raised his eyebrow in reply. “Oh?” he said, a challenge in his voice. “Even if it may involve a certain shrine priest of the Kanda Shrine?”
“Great. Just great. Let’s talk about top-secret information out in the open,” Chinen said, poking his head out of the car window again. “Or do you want me to print out flyers to distribute to the public?”
The bag on Yuto’s shoulder slipped down as he took a step forward towards Yabu and grabbed him by the collar. “What the hell do you mean?” he asked in a quiet, deadly voice. “Why the hell are you bringing other people into this?”
Yabu stared him down. “Get in the car and we’ll discuss this properly,” he said, easing his shirt collar out of Yuto’s grip.
“No, tell me now,” Yuto said through gritted teeth. He made a move to grab Yabu again, but in a sudden blur of motion Hikaru had his hands firmly pinned to his back and was pushing him into the car.
“Now now Yuto-kun, play nice,” Hikaru said, letting go of Yuto’s hands for a moment as he handed the heavy bag Yuto had to Daiki (who let out a small sound of protest at the weight of the bag that was ignored) before grabbing Yuto again.
“Hey! I have human rights! This is kidnapping!” Yuto protested, wriggling in vain against Hikaru’s grip as the older guy strapped him into the car in a manner too similar to being bound in ropes to a chair like all the bad goon movies ever made.
Hikaru laughed. “I think we’re past the level of arguing about moral high grounds, don’t you think?” he said, snapping the lock of the seatbelt on and patting Yuto on the shoulder. “Now, behave.”
“I don’t remember agreeing to this!” Yuto called out to Hikaru, who grinned and shut the door at Yuto’s face.
Chinen smiled impishly at Yuto. “I have to say though, you really have a way of making your life more complicated than it should be,” he said.
“Will you stop being annoying for a change?” Yuto said.
“Let me think about it… Nope, not gonna happen,” Chinen said. Yuto moved towards Chinen as best as he can with the seatbelts (seriously, the thing has too many straps and buckles, it’s more of a straitjacket), but Yabu, Daiki and Hikaru decided to enter the car just then. Chinen stuck out his tongue at him in triumph as Yuto settled for glaring at the smaller guy from his seat.
“Give it up, Yuto-kun,” Inoo advised, smiling as he raised a champagne bottle and a glass at Yuto’s direction. “Drinks?”
“You set up bases on dingy alleyways and abandoned laundromats, but you can afford to rent out a swanky limo?” Yuto said, settling back into the plush leather upholstery of the car seats. “You guys really need to sort out your priorities.”
“But they have free drinks!” Inoo weakly protested. “I’d take this over sports drinks any day.”
“You do know that we paid for this in the deposit, right?” Hikaru said, grabbing the bottle of champagne Inoo was waving around before he breaks anything. “So they’re technically not free.”
“Oh,” Inoo said, slumping back into his seat. “Okay.”
Yuto crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Yabu’s direction. “So? What now?”
Yabu looked at Yuto. “Someone’s touchy today,” he said lightly.
“Yabu, I am not playing your games,” Yuto said, his tone quiet. “What has this got to do with Ryosuke?”
“Yamada Ryosuke,” he said, giving Yuto a critical look. “What do you know about him?”
Yuto looked at him in disbelief. “What, do you want a background check?” he said. “If you do this to everyone you know, no wonder you don’t have any friends.”
“He was part of the Assassination Classroom program, Yuto-kun,” Hikaru said.
“...What?” Yuto said. There was no sound in the limousine, everyone looking at how he would react. He decided that it wouldn’t help to hide things from them now, so he sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “How did you know?”
“Dai-chan found the list in the files of the Prime Minister’s son,” Inoo said, pouring himself a glass of champagne before Hikaru could stop him.
“Why the fuck would he have access to that kind of information?” Yuto said, practically growling. “The Prime Minister shouldn’t even have that information in his hands!”
“The royal family is taking steps,” Yabu said. His shoulders were slumped, his voice heavy and tired. “From the information we’ve gathered in our networks, they’re gathering the graduates of the Assassination Classroom program for some twisted move for domination. The Prime Minister is a loyalist of the royal family and is helping them regain the power they lost.”
“That includes Yamada-kun,” Hikaru said, levelling a look at Yuto’s direction. “And apparently, you.”
“No way in hell—” Yuto began.
“They know you killed Okamoto Keito, Yuto,” Chinen said.
“That’s impossible! I was careful,” Yuto argued.
“Yes, we checked everything. All of our movements were untraceable back to any one of us,” Daiki said. “But somehow, they know. It’s like they planted the prime minister’s son to draw you out.”
The humming of the car’s engine was the only sound that could be heard. The car was paused at a traffic light, the shape of the official building of government operations looming in the near distance.
“Japan is officially insane,” Chinen said quietly. “Or at least the prime minister is. He’s apparently willing to waive all the things you’ve done if you join their ‘cause’, whatever that is.”
“And?” Yuto said. Yabu sighed.
“We’re not your enemies, Yuto-kun,” he said. “We’re trying to help. We’re telling you this because we know he’s important to you.”
“No you don’t, and you would never really understand it,” Yuto said. “You don’t know how it is in the program. You have to try so hard to keep your humanity and sanity in check.”
“And we don’t want you to lose that,” Inoo said, raising his glass to Yuto’s direction. “That’s why you’re here, with us, and we’re going to make sure the both of you gets out of this safe.”
“What’s the catch?” Yuto asked, trying hard to not let his voice shake. He worked so hard for trying to live a quiet life with Ryosuke. He may not have stopped killing people, but cheering on Ryosuke as he led a different life felt like his penance and his lifelong mission.
He can’t let anyone destroy that.
“No catch,” Yabu said, the ghost of a smile playing at his lips. “We have actual human feelings and we just want to help.”
“And how do you plan to do that?” Yuto inquired.
Chinen grinned. “Takaki Yuya,” he said simply.
Yuto straightened in his seat. “How did you even manage to track him down?” he asked.
Everyone besides Yuto turned to look at Daiki, who blushed a dull shade of pink. “What?” he said defensively. “I find people. You guys make me do it! Why is everyone looking at me like that?!” he cried out.
“Never mind, I don’t want to know,” Yuto said. “But still… he’s the oldest surviving graduate of the program. I’m impressed.”
“Apparently the prime minister is, too,” Hikaru said. “Okamoto—the prime minister’s son— was apparently meeting with him that day you took him down. He’s being very cautious after that assassination attempt, but maybe if you show up it’ll be easier to talk to him.”
“...Okay,” Yuto said, balling his hands into fists. “I’m in.”
“Yay!” Inoo said, raising his glass in an attempt to toast to Yuto, but before he could do that the glass slipped from his grip.
“...Oops,” Inoo said, looking at the broken shards of his glass scattered on the floor and the spreading stain of the spilled alcohol on the carpet of the limousine. “...do I have to pay for that?”
“Somebody take away the champagne from Inoo-kun,” Yuto said.
“Inoo, that’s enough,” Hikaru said. “You’re drunk.”
“I’m not drunk!” Inoo said indignantly. “I’m in love with you!”
Yuto cracked a smile as everyone laughed and Hikaru choked at Inoo’s declaration, only to be punctuated by the sound of shattering glass as a fist punched through the window at Yuto’s side. Yuto saw a flash of brown hair from the open window of the car beside them before there was a flash of a tear gas bomb, and smoke, and the instantaneous effect of the next bomb as the sleeping gas took effect before everything turned to black, shapeless and dark.

i have feelings. i'm allowed.
GOD DAMN ITTTTT ❤️
I. I will have another coherent comment later. I promise. But for now. Allow the speechlessness, okay?
“Great. Just great. Let’s talk about top-secret information out in the open,” Chinen said, poking his head out of the car window again. “Or do you want me to print out flyers to distribute to the public?”
Boy is serious with his shit.
You set up bases on dingy alleyways and abandoned laundromats, but you can afford to rent out a swanky limo?” Yuto said, settling back into the plush leather upholstery of the car seats. “You guys really need to sort out your priorities.”
You really would wonder where they put all that fucking money, I swear.
Everyone besides Yuto turned to look at Daiki, who blushed a dull shade of pink. “What?” he said defensively. “I find people. You guys make me do it! Why is everyone looking at me like that?!” he cried out.
Your life is SO interesting, Dai-chan. And hard.
Basically it is 2am in our timezone and my back is crazy fucked so all I can currently manage to do is quote your words back at you but LKJHGFDSA I WILL HAVE PROPER WORDS SOMETIME IN THE NEXT 48 HOURS AND INGRID *O*
RE: i have feelings. i'm allowed.
WAITS FOR COHERENCE THEN? THIS REPLY IS SO LATE THOUGH I AM GOMEN.
Chinen means serious business.
Supplying Inoo's (sports) drinking problem probably. Or keeping Chinen sedated with sugar and candy bars so his snark wouldn't be so bad.
Daiki's life. Always.
8Db HI ENABLER THANK YOU FOR THIS AU
no subject
oh god that banter. poor daiki. poor yuto. yabu and hikaru looking out for each other. HIKANOO. chinen, the snark master.
I MEAN:
“Great. Just great. Let’s talk about top-secret information out in the open,” Chinen said, poking his head out of the car window again. “Or do you want me to print out flyers to distribute to the public?”
ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM PROGRAM I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. sjkdhfalshf
sobs at inoo's love declaration and helpless laughter at his inability to hold his drink. precious child.
aughhhh sniper au i love this a lot ♥
no subject
I love writing banter so much uwu BANTER WITHOUT PLOT sobs everyone
I DIDN'T WRITE THAT, CHINEN JUST LITERALLY SAID THAT IN MY BRAIN.
8Db BECAUSE /NAGISA/. And I was looking at the pictures and YAMADA'S SO COOL IT'S SO UNFAIR.
Inoo is the cutest ;u;
SNIPER AU IS THE BEST LET'S ALL THANK THE ENABLER