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writetomyheart2015-07-18 12:54 am
singilu.livejournal.com) wrote in writetomyheart2015-07-18 12:54 am
Entry tags:
[Team Five] The shape of you against me
This is an unfinished attempt to contribute to the soulmates week, let's hope I get to actually finish this some day, ideally before 7/30 so I can actually link it on the event.
"Is everything alright?" Chanyeol asks the moment Baekhyun steps inside his apartment. Baekhyun hangs his head and tiptoes out of his shoes. Chanyeol knows him too well. Baekhyun doesn't want to tell him that he had another meeting at the Agency because Chanyeol, despite trying his best to be supportive, doesn't like Baekhyun going there, but ... Chanyeol is looking at him intently and once Baekhyun gets it out, he will feel better because he's not hiding things from his best friend and also because he might get a back rub out of it. And the faster he spills, the sooner Chanyeol can stop staring, checking him over for any apparent damage.
"Had another failed meeting in the Agency," he says, shuffling his way towards the kitchen. "They're really desperate for my money. I think it's time to try another one."
Baekhyun expects Chanyeol to come up behind him while he pours himself a glass of water, give him a hug or ruffle his hair. But there's nothing, the apartment so quiet all of a sudden one could hear a pin drop. Baekhyun turns around, and Chanyeol is standing in the doorway to his kitchen, looking at Baekhyun with sad eyes, biting his lips.
"Don't ..." Baekhyun starts, but trails off. Chanyeol looks so disappointed in him, so resigned. Usually he's so much better at hiding how much he disapproves.
"I think it's time to stop going to the Agencies all together," Chanyeol says in the end, shoulders dropping. He already looks regretful, unhappy about having voiced his thoughts out. Baekhyun squares his shoulders, ignores the pang he feels at Chanyeol not understanding.
"Please, what would I spend all my extra cash on then?" Baekhyun asks. He catches himself running his fingers over a small heart shaped birthmark on the inside of his left wrist. Lately, sometimes, it itches. Baekhyun's googled it though, very aware of it and so hopeful for a moment, yet again, but apparently it's not one of the known signs of your soulmate being somewhere in your close vicinity. It must just be Baekhyun imagining it. Chanyeol's eyes drop to his wrist but quickly dart away. He finally moves, stepping around Baekhyun and opening his fridge.
"Is curry good with you?" he asks, puling out carrots and potatoes already. Chanyeol understands Baekhyun so well, knows all his tells, knows all his habits and quirks and preferences, his comfort foods.
The inside of Chanyeol's left wrist is pale and perfectly smooth, markless. There are things he will never understand, after all .
Rationally, Baekhyun knows Chanyeol is right. They don't really talk about it anymore, but the few times they did, Chanyeol laid down the arguments very carefully, so logically. Baekhyun's soulmate could be across the world and chances of them actually meeting are low. It's not wise to keep hoping after so many years of trying, statistics are clear. He should try and date someone else. There's a perfectly good chance that he'd fall in love and be happy. People live meaningful , content lives without their other halves ever since the beginning of the history. One's life isn't less valuable without a soulmate. You should be your own destiny maker. Why should you rely on some inexplicable twist of nature that makes certain people more perfect for each other. There is more than one person out there that one could be happy with, and that person is probably close by and it doesn't take all your savings to find it. Soulmates have become somewhat of a business, a blown up bubble of made up promises. Baekhyun could afford a better apartment, could afford a more lavish vacation than just a weekend spent with Chanyeol, fixing up the run down house he inherited after his grandparents, the only thing he refuses to sell for the sake of looking for his soulmate. Baekhyun could spend more time with his friends, he could afford to eat all the strawberry cakes in this city if he just stopped giving all his money to Agencies promising to find his soulmate with nothing more than a tiny birth mark shaped like a sloppy heart to lead them.
But Baekhyun's grandparents were a soulmates that found each other. They were the happiest people Baekhyun remembers meeting. Only Chanyeol comes close sometimes, but he seems to be just built differently than anyone else, always trying to smile, always positive, always the energy anyone around him needs. Always there for Baekhyun too, to pick him up off the ground, cooking for him even if Chanyeol has been upset with him, for maybe a minute, then letting Baekhyun flop with his head in Chanyeol's lap. Tonight too Chanyeol kept running fingers through Baekyhun's hair, telling stories about his day, sharing funny anecdotes that happened on and off air on the radio. Instead Baekhyun wants to feel the same thing that was behind the gentle smiles of his grandparents, behind their secretive glances that made him wonder if they knew everything the other thought without speaking. He wants to experience that amazing way they were in sync, in their step and all reactions, the way they lived for each other, so incredibly happy and shining in each other's company, peaceful. Baekhyun's just restless and discontent, hoping his soulmate would finally ground him. If you know there's a perfect half of you somewhere out there, how could you ever feel whole?
Everyone says that those with soulmates are lucky, that having your wrist marked is a blessing. As Chanyeol snores lightly, head tipped back against the headrest of his couch, his hand heavy now in Baekhyun's hair, Baekhyun wonders if maybe Chanyeol isn't the lucky one. He can mold with someone to create the perfect fit. Chanyeol might believe that the same is possible for all, for Baekhyun too, but Baekhyun's never been such a fool. He has to keep searching for the one half he'd been shaped for from the start.
Tag for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nachtegael. I hope I haven't made it too difficult for you <3
"Is everything alright?" Chanyeol asks the moment Baekhyun steps inside his apartment. Baekhyun hangs his head and tiptoes out of his shoes. Chanyeol knows him too well. Baekhyun doesn't want to tell him that he had another meeting at the Agency because Chanyeol, despite trying his best to be supportive, doesn't like Baekhyun going there, but ... Chanyeol is looking at him intently and once Baekhyun gets it out, he will feel better because he's not hiding things from his best friend and also because he might get a back rub out of it. And the faster he spills, the sooner Chanyeol can stop staring, checking him over for any apparent damage.
"Had another failed meeting in the Agency," he says, shuffling his way towards the kitchen. "They're really desperate for my money. I think it's time to try another one."
Baekhyun expects Chanyeol to come up behind him while he pours himself a glass of water, give him a hug or ruffle his hair. But there's nothing, the apartment so quiet all of a sudden one could hear a pin drop. Baekhyun turns around, and Chanyeol is standing in the doorway to his kitchen, looking at Baekhyun with sad eyes, biting his lips.
"Don't ..." Baekhyun starts, but trails off. Chanyeol looks so disappointed in him, so resigned. Usually he's so much better at hiding how much he disapproves.
"I think it's time to stop going to the Agencies all together," Chanyeol says in the end, shoulders dropping. He already looks regretful, unhappy about having voiced his thoughts out. Baekhyun squares his shoulders, ignores the pang he feels at Chanyeol not understanding.
"Please, what would I spend all my extra cash on then?" Baekhyun asks. He catches himself running his fingers over a small heart shaped birthmark on the inside of his left wrist. Lately, sometimes, it itches. Baekhyun's googled it though, very aware of it and so hopeful for a moment, yet again, but apparently it's not one of the known signs of your soulmate being somewhere in your close vicinity. It must just be Baekhyun imagining it. Chanyeol's eyes drop to his wrist but quickly dart away. He finally moves, stepping around Baekhyun and opening his fridge.
"Is curry good with you?" he asks, puling out carrots and potatoes already. Chanyeol understands Baekhyun so well, knows all his tells, knows all his habits and quirks and preferences, his comfort foods.
The inside of Chanyeol's left wrist is pale and perfectly smooth, markless. There are things he will never understand, after all .
Rationally, Baekhyun knows Chanyeol is right. They don't really talk about it anymore, but the few times they did, Chanyeol laid down the arguments very carefully, so logically. Baekhyun's soulmate could be across the world and chances of them actually meeting are low. It's not wise to keep hoping after so many years of trying, statistics are clear. He should try and date someone else. There's a perfectly good chance that he'd fall in love and be happy. People live meaningful , content lives without their other halves ever since the beginning of the history. One's life isn't less valuable without a soulmate. You should be your own destiny maker. Why should you rely on some inexplicable twist of nature that makes certain people more perfect for each other. There is more than one person out there that one could be happy with, and that person is probably close by and it doesn't take all your savings to find it. Soulmates have become somewhat of a business, a blown up bubble of made up promises. Baekhyun could afford a better apartment, could afford a more lavish vacation than just a weekend spent with Chanyeol, fixing up the run down house he inherited after his grandparents, the only thing he refuses to sell for the sake of looking for his soulmate. Baekhyun could spend more time with his friends, he could afford to eat all the strawberry cakes in this city if he just stopped giving all his money to Agencies promising to find his soulmate with nothing more than a tiny birth mark shaped like a sloppy heart to lead them.
But Baekhyun's grandparents were a soulmates that found each other. They were the happiest people Baekhyun remembers meeting. Only Chanyeol comes close sometimes, but he seems to be just built differently than anyone else, always trying to smile, always positive, always the energy anyone around him needs. Always there for Baekhyun too, to pick him up off the ground, cooking for him even if Chanyeol has been upset with him, for maybe a minute, then letting Baekhyun flop with his head in Chanyeol's lap. Tonight too Chanyeol kept running fingers through Baekyhun's hair, telling stories about his day, sharing funny anecdotes that happened on and off air on the radio. Instead Baekhyun wants to feel the same thing that was behind the gentle smiles of his grandparents, behind their secretive glances that made him wonder if they knew everything the other thought without speaking. He wants to experience that amazing way they were in sync, in their step and all reactions, the way they lived for each other, so incredibly happy and shining in each other's company, peaceful. Baekhyun's just restless and discontent, hoping his soulmate would finally ground him. If you know there's a perfect half of you somewhere out there, how could you ever feel whole?
Everyone says that those with soulmates are lucky, that having your wrist marked is a blessing. As Chanyeol snores lightly, head tipped back against the headrest of his couch, his hand heavy now in Baekhyun's hair, Baekhyun wonders if maybe Chanyeol isn't the lucky one. He can mold with someone to create the perfect fit. Chanyeol might believe that the same is possible for all, for Baekhyun too, but Baekhyun's never been such a fool. He has to keep searching for the one half he'd been shaped for from the start.
Tag for
nachtegael. I hope I haven't made it too difficult for you <3
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