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writetomyheart2015-07-19 11:07 pm
damagea.livejournal.com) wrote in writetomyheart2015-07-19 11:07 pm
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[team one] sometimes i get annoyed without even knowing
I have dozens of things to do so this is all I can give right now! I've been listening to 썸 too much these days so excuse me all the clichés and stuff.
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ceeri, you're up!
Meeting Minseok for the first time had been nothing special. If Jongdae would recall the time back everything had been busy as ever, new faces had appeared so quickly and regularly as they had then disappeared it had been pretty pointless to even try remembering them. Minseok had been no exception until they eventually got to hear they would be part of the same team.
That's why for Jongdae it was hard to tell why he had these certain moments where he couldn't particularly put his finger into. Minseok had never been anything special yet Jongdae found himself being more and more annoyed each year, each month and each day by the smallest things that had something to do with the other one.
Minseok had had always been close with Luhan. The way they had interacted used to have much more closeness in it than Jongdae and Minseok ever did. Maybe it had been because of their ages or because Luhan had usually been more collected than the others and used to have this calm personality Minseok liked in people.
Jongdae knew Minseok and Luhan had been good friends - just like Chanyeol was friends with Baekhyun or like Jongin was friends with Taemin - but it still hadn't helped him not feeling slightly annoyed if he would have a talk with Minseok and then Luhan would suddenly appear out of nowhere, wrap his arms around Minseok and then whisper some witty joke into Minseok's ear and make the other laugh in a way Jongdae could never pull off.
Jongdae had always tried to ignore the slight feeling of annoyance in his chest and would hope there had been no sign of it shown on his face.
”Chenchen, is there something wrong?” Luhan had sometimes asked as Jongdae had given up the conversation going on with Minseok and had quietly dragged himself to sit on the couch in the corner of their practice room and had put all his attention to his smart phone.
Luhan's gaze had always been sincere, the way he had always acted around them so Jongdae hadn't had reason to hold any anger towards him. ”No, hyung. I'm fine,” Jongdae would then answer. It was his problem, not Luhan's.
And within Luhan's departure Jongdae had got to notice the problem indeed had never been because of Luhan or any other person beside Jongdae himself.
Jongdae had started considering he had some kind of a problem as he had once caught himself staring at Minseok's bare trained arms which had looked ridiculously good in a white tank top. When Minseok had put his hoodie back on Jongdae had quickly looked away because the realisation had hit him how it was ridiculous to ogle your group member without a proper reason. The feeling of irritation had made its way into Jongdae's chest because he was stupid like that. He had rushed out of the room and had ignored the questioning looks of the members because Jongdae leaving the room was a rare occasion, and if possible that thought had made Jongdae even more annoyed. He hated being annoyed because that wasn't part of his nature. After the incident Jongdae had made sure he wouldn't send stupid glances at Minseok's direction again.
Jongdae had started noticing he truly had serious problems once Minseok had suggested them to postpone their dance practice with just the two of them as he was too busy for god-knows-what and Jongdae had noticed a surge discontent washing over him right away.
The annoyance hadn't got any better as Minseok had given an amicable smile back, fixed a new date for them and Jongdae had noticed he actually couldn't wait for their next practice together. Which was weird because Jongdae saw Minseok every day, talked to him every day anyway and dancing wasn't his cup of tea really - not to mention dance practice which was more than usually challenging to deal with – but he had caught himself thinking dancing with Minseok was surprisingly okay. With that thought Jongdae had had an urge to bang his head against the door in frustration because that was just plain stupid to let such meaningless things affect in any way. Minseok was nothing special compared to other members and their dance practices were just normal dance practices to help Jongdae to improve.
Jongdae couldn't tell why the frustration hit him even when Minseok had started hanging around with him, Baekhyun and Chanyeol more than before. It wasn't like he had anything against Minseok but somehow seeing Minseok's smiling so widely, patting Jongdae's back, randomly complimenting Jongdae's biceps or coming up with new funny jokes with Baekhyun made Jongdae feel extremely uncomfortable in a weird way. And Jongdae hated being uncomfortable because then he surely couldn't be in control, mind you.
That's why Jongdae started avoiding these situations more and more, mumbling he needed to go toilet and then disappearing, making sure once he would come back he'd go and talk with Yixing instead and stay far from Minseok fooling around with Chanyeol and Baekhyun.
* * *
When Minseok reached him and asked him to wait a little bit as Jongdae was already ready to rush out of the front door on the other morning, he knew there was no way Minseok wouldn't have noticed his weird behavior that occured sometimes.
”Jongdae-ya, can we talk?” Minseok pleaded seriously.
”Hyung, I'm in a hurry and if I don't leave soon I'll be late and they won't appreciate--,” Jongdae tried but Minseok shot him a sad look which made Jongdae gulp silently as the sudden feeling of discomfort was there again. If Jongdae only knew where it came from, that would have helped a lot.
Minseok sighed wearily. ”You're doing that again,” he stated.
”Doing what?” Jongdae pretended; it was a big fat lie because he knew exactly what Minseok was meaning there but it was easier that way because otherwise it would have meant Jongdae would need to tell an explanation for him being a shitty group member and he unfortunately had no explanation for that. Other than him having some serious unprocessed problems which undoubtedly was not a good reason at all.
Letting out another sigh, this time a tad more frustrated one, Minseok shook his head. Jongdae dropped his gaze on the floor, he was embarrassed and had no idea what one was supposed to do in that kind of situation.
And then for Jongdae's surprise when he finally rose his head and glanced at Minseok, the other was eyeing him, a wry smile suddenly twisting his lips and he didn't look angry at all. ”I was hoping you to find this out by yourself but you're pretty stubborn so you might need a little bit help this time,” Minseok said finally.
When Minseok cupped Jongdae's face between his hands Jongdae wasn't surprised at all and he got almost surprised how he wasn't surprised at all when Minseok's lips touched his lightly. They let their mouths sweetly stay like that, not rushing with anything and not making the kiss go any further. Feelings of discomfort, annoyance, irritation and frustration were far gone in Jongdae's head and didn't come back even when Minseok pulled away from the kiss and smirked at Jongdae.
”That was the first clue,” Minseok said, his eyes smiling brightly, ”You may find out the rest by yourself.”
At that point Minseok could have said anything and that wouldn't have managed to pull Jongdae out of cloud nine. Everything was suddenly so simple.
That's why for Jongdae it was hard to tell why he had these certain moments where he couldn't particularly put his finger into. Minseok had never been anything special yet Jongdae found himself being more and more annoyed each year, each month and each day by the smallest things that had something to do with the other one.
Minseok had had always been close with Luhan. The way they had interacted used to have much more closeness in it than Jongdae and Minseok ever did. Maybe it had been because of their ages or because Luhan had usually been more collected than the others and used to have this calm personality Minseok liked in people.
Jongdae knew Minseok and Luhan had been good friends - just like Chanyeol was friends with Baekhyun or like Jongin was friends with Taemin - but it still hadn't helped him not feeling slightly annoyed if he would have a talk with Minseok and then Luhan would suddenly appear out of nowhere, wrap his arms around Minseok and then whisper some witty joke into Minseok's ear and make the other laugh in a way Jongdae could never pull off.
Jongdae had always tried to ignore the slight feeling of annoyance in his chest and would hope there had been no sign of it shown on his face.
”Chenchen, is there something wrong?” Luhan had sometimes asked as Jongdae had given up the conversation going on with Minseok and had quietly dragged himself to sit on the couch in the corner of their practice room and had put all his attention to his smart phone.
Luhan's gaze had always been sincere, the way he had always acted around them so Jongdae hadn't had reason to hold any anger towards him. ”No, hyung. I'm fine,” Jongdae would then answer. It was his problem, not Luhan's.
And within Luhan's departure Jongdae had got to notice the problem indeed had never been because of Luhan or any other person beside Jongdae himself.
Jongdae had started considering he had some kind of a problem as he had once caught himself staring at Minseok's bare trained arms which had looked ridiculously good in a white tank top. When Minseok had put his hoodie back on Jongdae had quickly looked away because the realisation had hit him how it was ridiculous to ogle your group member without a proper reason. The feeling of irritation had made its way into Jongdae's chest because he was stupid like that. He had rushed out of the room and had ignored the questioning looks of the members because Jongdae leaving the room was a rare occasion, and if possible that thought had made Jongdae even more annoyed. He hated being annoyed because that wasn't part of his nature. After the incident Jongdae had made sure he wouldn't send stupid glances at Minseok's direction again.
Jongdae had started noticing he truly had serious problems once Minseok had suggested them to postpone their dance practice with just the two of them as he was too busy for god-knows-what and Jongdae had noticed a surge discontent washing over him right away.
The annoyance hadn't got any better as Minseok had given an amicable smile back, fixed a new date for them and Jongdae had noticed he actually couldn't wait for their next practice together. Which was weird because Jongdae saw Minseok every day, talked to him every day anyway and dancing wasn't his cup of tea really - not to mention dance practice which was more than usually challenging to deal with – but he had caught himself thinking dancing with Minseok was surprisingly okay. With that thought Jongdae had had an urge to bang his head against the door in frustration because that was just plain stupid to let such meaningless things affect in any way. Minseok was nothing special compared to other members and their dance practices were just normal dance practices to help Jongdae to improve.
Jongdae couldn't tell why the frustration hit him even when Minseok had started hanging around with him, Baekhyun and Chanyeol more than before. It wasn't like he had anything against Minseok but somehow seeing Minseok's smiling so widely, patting Jongdae's back, randomly complimenting Jongdae's biceps or coming up with new funny jokes with Baekhyun made Jongdae feel extremely uncomfortable in a weird way. And Jongdae hated being uncomfortable because then he surely couldn't be in control, mind you.
That's why Jongdae started avoiding these situations more and more, mumbling he needed to go toilet and then disappearing, making sure once he would come back he'd go and talk with Yixing instead and stay far from Minseok fooling around with Chanyeol and Baekhyun.
* * *
When Minseok reached him and asked him to wait a little bit as Jongdae was already ready to rush out of the front door on the other morning, he knew there was no way Minseok wouldn't have noticed his weird behavior that occured sometimes.
”Jongdae-ya, can we talk?” Minseok pleaded seriously.
”Hyung, I'm in a hurry and if I don't leave soon I'll be late and they won't appreciate--,” Jongdae tried but Minseok shot him a sad look which made Jongdae gulp silently as the sudden feeling of discomfort was there again. If Jongdae only knew where it came from, that would have helped a lot.
Minseok sighed wearily. ”You're doing that again,” he stated.
”Doing what?” Jongdae pretended; it was a big fat lie because he knew exactly what Minseok was meaning there but it was easier that way because otherwise it would have meant Jongdae would need to tell an explanation for him being a shitty group member and he unfortunately had no explanation for that. Other than him having some serious unprocessed problems which undoubtedly was not a good reason at all.
Letting out another sigh, this time a tad more frustrated one, Minseok shook his head. Jongdae dropped his gaze on the floor, he was embarrassed and had no idea what one was supposed to do in that kind of situation.
And then for Jongdae's surprise when he finally rose his head and glanced at Minseok, the other was eyeing him, a wry smile suddenly twisting his lips and he didn't look angry at all. ”I was hoping you to find this out by yourself but you're pretty stubborn so you might need a little bit help this time,” Minseok said finally.
When Minseok cupped Jongdae's face between his hands Jongdae wasn't surprised at all and he got almost surprised how he wasn't surprised at all when Minseok's lips touched his lightly. They let their mouths sweetly stay like that, not rushing with anything and not making the kiss go any further. Feelings of discomfort, annoyance, irritation and frustration were far gone in Jongdae's head and didn't come back even when Minseok pulled away from the kiss and smirked at Jongdae.
”That was the first clue,” Minseok said, his eyes smiling brightly, ”You may find out the rest by yourself.”
At that point Minseok could have said anything and that wouldn't have managed to pull Jongdae out of cloud nine. Everything was suddenly so simple.
ceeri, you're up!
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BUT THEN. i was afraid xiumin would just let him leave like that and both would've been :( about it but. BUT. A KISS. and it was xiumin iniating it! and lol, how he makes all chen's doubts etc go away with just a couple of words and all akshda;kjhkd the ending was super cute, and i especially like the very last line :D <3
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XIUCHEN NEEDS ALL THE LOVE, i couldn't leave them suffering and especially chen as he had hard time there and he's such a sweetheart!
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