writetomyheart | [Team One] Something Worth Waiting For

Thai BL fandom again.

Love by Chance/A Chance to Love fix-it-fic, what if Kengkla hadn't made that terrible mistake.

Looks, status, brains. To an outsider, it probably looked like Kengkla had it all. Kengkla had been blessed with good looks. He was tall and handsome, with fair skin and a shock of dark hair. His angelic face charmed many and his wolfish grin had them swooning at his feet.

On top of that, his family owned one of the largest pharma companies in Thailand, their products lined pharmacies and cosmetic shops, some family members had branched out into hospital management and beauty clinics. His monthly allowance was probably higher than some people’s salary. While his peers rode motorcycle taxis to school, he drove his own Mercedes.

And if that wasn’t enough, he also possessed an intellect, which allowed him to run circles around the adults around him. He’d never studied for tests or exams, breezing through his education with minimum effort.

As a result, Kengkla had just been drifting through life. Every day had been incredibly boring and dull, filled with the same stupid things. Filled with nothing but lies and deceit. It had always been like that and Kengkla had not only learned to live with it but also to live ‘in’ it as well. It was just like a game and he was good at games. So far, he had never lost at it, lost at ‘life’.

Nothing challenged him. Nothing interested him.

He quickly grew tired of most people he met. The moment they found out who he was, they would either shy away, afraid of his family’s influence, or pursue him aggressively, aiming for his money and status. Most encounters ended in disappointment for him.

But he never voiced that disappointment. He kept up a facade, a farce. Even though he wasn’t interested in people, they might still come in handy at some point. He could still use them. Use them in this big, boring game that was called life.

Things changed in his first year of upper-secondary school. When he started Matthayom 4, he met someone interesting for the first time in what seemed like forever.

It had been mutual recognition. The moment Kengkla and Technic had laid eyes on each other they had known that they were birds of a feather. And thus they had become fast friends. If you wanted to call it that. They usually described each other as ‘business associates’ or ‘comrades’ rather than actual ‘friends’ because both of them knew that their relationship was not as ‘cheesy’ as an ‘actual friendship’. But they were both perfectly content with that.

Technic had brought a tiny bit of excitement into Kengkla’s life. Not a whole lot, Kengkla was not interested in most of the things Technic wanted to do - girls - but he thought it was amusing to help the other in his quest. And who knew, maybe he would also find someone worth his while.

And sure enough, he did. Thanks to Technic. But not in a way either of them would have thought. It was a fateful encounter. One that would really change Kengkla’s life.

Kengkla had gone over to Technic’s house - the other wanted to scheme with him, he was aiming for a senior girl from another school - but when he’d arrived, his friend hadn’t been home yet. Technic apologized to him, saying his mother had suddenly asked him to go shopping.

So Kengkla had sat down on the steps in front of the house to wait for his friend. He could have gone back to his car - it was another hot and humid day outside - but for some reason he couldn’t be bothered. Maybe it had been fate.

Suddenly a soccer ball had come flying at him and only his quick reflexes helped him to avoid getting hit by it. He caught it in his hands and then looked up and over to the gate.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry! I thought you were Ai’Nic!” A tall male walked over to him. “My apologies. Are you my brother’s friend?”

“Ah, hello, phi,” Kengkla handed the soccer ball back to the other and then greeted him with a polite wai. “Yeah, my name is Kengkla. I’m waiting for Ai’Nic to get home.”

“I see. Hello there, Ai’Kengkla. Damn, that’s a mouthful. Let’s go with Ai’Kla, shall we?” Kengkla was surprised at the nickname and familiar way of addressing him. They had only just met! Plus, no one else had chosen the last half of his name to address him before either. Most people went with the first. This intrigued him. “I’m Techno, Nic’s older brother. You can call me No.” Techno smiled at him. The smile was so genuine and bright, Kengkla had never seen one quite like it before. It was one of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen. “Let’s go inside, shall we? It’s hot out here! I hope you haven’t been waiting for long?”

Kengkla shook his head. “Only a few minutes, P’No.” He looked at the older male’s clothes. “Are you on the soccer team?” He tried to recall what Technic had told him about his older brother but for some reason he could only come up with ‘my older brother is kinda stupid’.

“Yeah! I joined the university soccer team and I’m going to be its captain one day!” Techno declared with a huge grin. “Do you like soccer, Ai’Kla?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know much about it. Maybe P’No could teach me?” Kengkla smiled. There was something about Techno that made Kengkla feel things. He’d never felt quite like this before. It intrigued him. “Captain, that’s pretty awesome, P’No! I’ll be praying for your success.”

Techno’s smile brightened and he patted Kengkla’s shoulder. “Thank you, Ai’Kla! Aw man, you’re such a good kid. I wish Ai’Nic would be a bit more like you. He has no respect for his older brother.” Techno tsk-ed softly and went into the kitchen. “Would you like something to drink, Ai’Kla? Oh and please make yourself comfortable.”

The other was so unguarded, so genuine. There were no hidden intentions or anything behind anything he said or did. Kengkla was fascinated at the fact that a person like that even existed. He had never met someone quite like Techno before.

And Techno never changed after that first encounter. Techno always treated him well, was always friendly and kind to him without expecting anything in return. Techno treated him like a normal person. Techno didn’t care about who Kengkla was, or who his family was. And Kengkla liked that. Liked him. And not just as an older brother figure.

So he made a decision.

“I want him Nic. I want your brother.”

Technic choked on his drink. He looked at Kengkla like his friend had grown a second head.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I want your brother. I want P’No to be mine.” Kengkla was dead serious.

“You mean like-”

“I want P’No to be my wife,” Kengkla clarified, still dead serious.

Releasing his breath loudly, Technic commented, “Oh wow, life does work in mysterious ways. Who would have thought my stupid older brother would attract someone like you?”

Kengkla looked at Technic. “Help me.”

“What’s in it for me?” Technic asked.

“Whatever you want,” Kengkla answered without hesitation.

Techni grinned, “I like the sound of that. Deal.”

Things started out harmlessly. Kengkla would come over to Techno’s and Technic’s house even more frequently than he already had and he’d always bring Techno’s favourite snacks or food. He’d be rewarded with short glimpses of the other, sometimes a short conversation but not more. It was enough for him at first but over time, he started to want more.

So things escalated. He asked Technic to tell him about Techno’s whereabouts, to call Techno when he was out to check on him. And they even sabotaged Techno’s scooter so that Kengkla could offer to drive the other around and thus have an excuse to be alone with Techno for a bit.

But even that wasn’t enough anymore. It had been almost three years at this point and Kengkla’s patience was reaching its limits. One night, after he and Technic had hauled a drunk Techno up the stairs and into bed, Kengkla felt like he was reaching his breaking point.

“You have a scary look on your face, Keng.”

“I want him so much.” Kengkla looked at Techno’s sleeping form on the bed.

Technic patted his shoulder. “Don’t do anything you’ll regret now. You’ll get him eventually. Don’t give up. Even an idiot like my big brother will notice eventually.”

“I’m getting desperate, Ai’Nic. I can’t let him be with anyone else like this. And if I don’t have him soon, I think I’ll go crazy.” Kengkla was this close to just jumping Techno and having his way with him. He knew that would be wrong but his patience was wearing thin and his hormones were trying to take control. It both scared and yet excited him. He’d never been like this before. He was always calm and calculating. Acting on feelings or emotions was unlike him. But it was also somewhat exhilarating. He’d never felt like this before, so it was something new in his life.

“If you ask me, you are crazy already.”

Ah, he agreed with Technic. He was. He was crazy for this being called Techno that was so close, within touching distance and yet still out of his reach.

A few weeks later, the gears of fate started turning once more.

Kengkla had stayed over again, plotting his next moves with Technic but also making good on one of his business deals in which he’d promised Technic to help his friend with some logistics for upcoming dates and whatnot. Since it had gotten late, they had called it a night and gone to bed, Technic in his own room and Kengkla in the guest room.

He’d been drifting off, when he’d heard noises from outside. Just as his brain was slowly starting to wake up, someone flopped down onto the bed heavily, making the mattress dip.

“P’No?” Kengkla blinked. Oh boy the other reeked of alcohol. Again.

“Ah? Who’s this?” Techno cupped his face with both hands and Kengkla felt warmth shooting into his cheeks at the contact. “Ah, Ai’Kla? Let me sleep here, would you? I’m beat.”

Techno wrapped his arms around him and then the other was out like a light. Kengkla found himself stuck in a death-grip. Despite Techno’s lanky appearance, he was quite strong and muscular from playing soccer and other physical activities and training. Kengkla couldn’t wiggle his way out of the embrace nor could he get Techno’s arms to move.

Lying with his crush like his was pure torture. Sweet, sweet torture. He could feel Techno brushing against the skin of his legs, could feel the older male’s crotch against his own.

All of his wiggling wasn’t helping. And he knew he had to stop now, unless he wanted to sleep with a hard on. But luckily for him neither his brain nor body were awake enough for that.

“...I want to do so much more to you than just this, P’No,” Kengkla whispered and pressed a kiss against Techno’s forehead. He tried to break free again but to no avail. Eventually Kengkla gave up and gave in and just fell asleep in his phi’s arms.

Techno snuggled into the pillow he was holding. It felt warm and smelled nice.

“P’No…?”

And it talked.

“P’No, are you awake? You’re crushing me.”

The pillow’s voice sounded nice. He snuggled against it a bit more, not willing to fully wake up just yet. The rhythmical beat his ears picked up was inviting him back to sleep. Although, was it just him or was the beat getting faster and faster? Just like a heartbeat. Wait.

“What?!” Techno opened his eyes and looked up to find a handsome face and gentle but slightly strained smile. He yelped and moved back, realizing he’d been holding onto Kengkla.

The sudden movement almost made his head explode. “Ow, ow, what the fuck…”

“Good morning, P’No,” Kenkla greeted him and then stretched awkwardly. “Ah…”

“What- Why- In my bed?”

“This is the guest room, P’No. Ai’Nic and I forgot the time again last night and so I slept over,” Kengkla explained. “You came in drunk and then wouldn’t let go of me.”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry about that, Ai’Kla,” Techno apologized. “Are you okay? I didn’t do anything weird to you, did I?” Techno asked nervously. He knew he wasn’t the best drunk out there and Type had complained to him about it many times.

Some kind of emotion flickered up in Kengkla’s eyes but quickly disappeared. “Well, I couldn’t move for the rest of the night and feel a little stiff…”

“I’m sorry,” Techno apologized again.

“I’ll let P’No make it up to me?”

“Make it up to you? Yeah sure, how-” the question half-died on Techno’s tongue as he felt a hand on his chest, sliding further down to his jeans and coming to rest on his crotch. “Ai’Kla, what are you doing?” He’d seen this in movies before. Read about it in manga. Techno was no stranger to porn. But he was a stranger to having something like that happen to him in real life.

Techno was panicking and his mind was starting to blank as a result - the hangover and sleepiness weren’t helping. A different part of him seemed rather interested in Kengkla’s actions and advances, though. His body was interested. His virgin body, which seemed to have longed for this kind of touch, this kind of attention. And really, the other was so handsome and so gentle and his lips looked inviting and kissable and- Oh no, no, no, dangerous, dangerous.

“Uhm, I gotta go and take a shower,” Techno bolted from the bed and fled to the bathroom.

Once inside, he rinsed out his mouth - the taste of stale alcohol still lingering there had been making him sick. Or so he told himself. But maybe it was more the feeling of panic. He then also splashed some water in his face in an attempt to clear his head.

“Snap out of it, No. You’re not- You’re not thinking that another guy is attractive,” he muttered to himself and splashed more water onto his face.

In the brief moments that he closed his eyes, he saw images flashing in front of his inner eye. Of Kengkla pushing him down onto the mattress, of those plump lips on his. Of those lips on other places of his body. SHIT! Techno hit the sink.

“And you absolutely do NOT want him to do things to you,” he muttered under his breath. “Damn it, body, would you calm down, too? Don’t betray me like this!” He could feel his dick straining against his jeans. Seemed like it was time for a cold shower.

Techno took off his clothes and got into the stall. But even the cold water wasn’t helping.

With a sound somewhere between desperation and frustration, Techno turned the spray off again and was about to wrap his hand around himself, when he heard a sound behind him.

Whirling around, he almost lost his footing in shock when he found Kengkla there.

“Ai’Kla? What- When did you-”

“I wouldn’t mind helping you out with that, P’No,” Kengkla moved closer to Techno. He was still in a t-shirt and shorts, the clothes he’d worn in bed. He let his eyes wander down Techno’s body and then up again. When he looked into Techno’s eyes, he licked his lips. Techno thought the other looked a bit like a predator who had cornered his prey and was about to devour it.

Under normal circumstances, that kind of thought should have alarmed Techno and his reaction should have been to escape but for some reason he thought the way Kengkla licked his lips was really hot. And he also liked the undivided attention the other was giving him. Kengkla’s look was so full of adoration and desire (and maybe more but Techno’s brain was too scared to go quite THAT far right now). It was an expression Techno was familiar with but had never seen directed at himself. He’d seen it on other people’s faces plenty of times. Most notably Type and Tharn. Techno had always wondered what it would feel like to have someone look at him like that. And well, now that he had experienced it, he had to admit that it felt kind of nice.

And then those lips, those soft lips he’d been thinking about since he woke up, were on his own and Techno couldn’t stop the shuddery sigh that escaped him at the contact. He was no judge when it came to whether or not the kiss was good or not - it was his first - but it sure felt good. No wonder people did this all the time. Or wanted to.

He almost found himself whining softly when Kengkla pulled away.

“I...I’ve been wanting to do these kinds of things with you for a long time,” Kengkla bit his lip again as he breathed in Techno’s scent. “So if you’d let me…”

“Let you what? Ai’Kla what are you talking ab- oh shit!” Techno stopped mid-panicky-rant when Kengkla got onto his knees in front of him and wrapped a hand around his straining cock. And then something hot, wet and slippery was on him and- oh shit was Kengkla sucking him off?

It felt so good. Techno couldn’t stop the lewd moan from falling from his lips - it made his ears burn in embarrassment, so he clamped a hand over his own mouth to muffle any other sounds that threatened to spill out. Technic was not too far away after all and he didn’t want to give his brother even more reasons to tease him. His other hand moved to rest itself on top of Kengkla’s head. His fingers threaded themselves into the soft hair he found there.

Despite just having stood under cold water for a good five minutes, Techno felt his body heating up rapidly. Kengkla’s mouth and tongue were sending flashes of heat through his body. Heat that then started to pool in his groin. His fingers dug into Kengkla’s scalp a bit.

A soft, muffled curse could be heard and then Techno lost himself in the pleasure.

When he ‘came to’ again, he was staring straight into Kengkla’s dark eyes. “P’No, I really like you. Will you be my boyfriend?”

Now that his brain was ‘online’ again, the reality of what had just happened crashed down onto Techno. He pushed Kengkla aside and avoided looking at the other. “I’m sorry, Ai’Kla but I’ll need to think about that!!” He somehow got the words out and then left the bathroom, fleeing into his own room as fast as he could.

“My brother has clearly been avoiding you. What did you do to him?” Technic crossed his arms and looked at his friend. “Did you actually push him down and ravage him?”

Kengkla sighed. “I sucked him off in the shower.”

Technic looked a little green. “Oh boy, TMI. I did NOT need that mental image.”

“You asked.” Kengkla deadpanned.

“Yeah, I regret doing that. My bad.” It was Technic’s turn to sigh now. “So, you want to talk to him, right? He should be home today. Come over.”

So Kengkla went. Hours passed though until they finally heard the sound of Techno coming home. He was on the phone, though and it sounded like he was going to head out again soon.

When he finally noticed Technic and Kengkla, Techno almost dropped his glass.

“What are you doing here?”

Technic sighed and scolded his brother, “Keng has been waiting for you for two hours already.”

“P’No,” Kengkla greeted the other, “Can I talk to you about what happened that d-” He didn’t get to finish his question because Techno was clamping a hand over his mouth.

“Shut up! Ai’Nic is still here!” The older male looked flustered and there was a tint of red on his cheeks and ears. Kengkla thought it was adorable.

“Oh come on,” Technic sighed and then pushed his brother away from his friend gently. “P’No, actually, I already know everything that happened.”

“Huh?” Techno stared at his younger brother and then at Kengkla and back at Technic.

“I’m not joking. But I don’t want to interfere in this matter. You two should talk.” Technic patted Techno encouragingly again and then gave his brother and his friend some space to talk.

Once Technic was out of earshot, Kengkla grabbed one of Techno’s hands and held it gently in both of his own. “P’No,” he addressed Techno, “What can I do so that you’ll forgive me?”

Techno blinked. Had he come across as angry?

“I’m not mad at you…” he told the other.

“Then why are you avoiding me?” Kengkla looked so genuinely hurt. It was doing things to Techno’s heart.

“I’m not avoiding you…” Techno swallowed.

Kengkla wasn’t averting his gaze, keeping it fixed on Techno, “I’ll do everything for you to forgive me. For you to like me. I really like you.”

Techno pulled his hand out of Kengkla’s grasp, maybe with more force and urgency than he had meant to. He wanted to apologize because he saw the hurt look on Kengkla’s face but his urge to get away was stronger. “Let’s talk about that another time. Type is waiting for me. I have to go now.” And with that Techno more or less ran out of the room, out of the house.

Once outside, he fell back against the door slightly, leaning heavily against the worn-out wood.

“Shit,” Techno breathed out softly. “Why is he so handsome?” He pressed a hand against his chest. He could feel his heart thumping rapidly. “My damn heart, would you calm down? I’m going to have a heart attack at this rate!”

Looking into the night forlornly, Techno whispered softly, “Give me more time, Kla. I never even thought of having a lover before. Not to mention a boyfriend.”

But with the way things were going, Techno knew that he couldn’t avoid thinking about it much longer. He owed Kengkla that much and also himself.

However, he also had other things to think about. The university soccer championship was taking up most of his time and also brain-space. So he pushed thoughts about Kengkla to the back of his head once again. Maybe he was running away but Techno wasn’t great at this kind of thing, he knew that himself. He could only deal with one thing at a time.

And even then, he didn’t seem able to deal with things properly.

They lost the championship game and with it, Techno lost his last chance at getting the top spot with his team. Ever since he’d joined in freshman year, the team had always come close only to have victory snatched away from them at the last minute.

Techno felt frustrated and disappointed. But he wasn’t going to show that to his team. They deserved better. They deserved a ‘real captain’.

“Get home safely, you guys.” He tried to send them off with a small smile. “It’s okay that we lost this time. You still have another chance next year. So, let’s go back.” Techno was sniffling, trying to hold back his tears. Ah, he had told himself not to cry but it was impossible after all. But he had to keep it together. At least until the younger ones had left.

He saw the younger players off and then took a deep breath.

“You should go and get some rest, too, captain. You did your best today,” he could feel Champ’s and Type’s reassuring presences behind him. Champ put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, trying to provide some comfort. “I’m proud of you.”

“Stop it, Champ,” now there was no more stopping his tears. “You’ll make me cry.”

Champ and Type shared a look and with a last squeeze of his shoulders, they both left, knowing that Techno didn’t want anyone else to see him like this.

Techno limped towards the bus stop - his injury still hurting a bit - when he heard footsteps coming closer and then a worried voice, “P’No, Technic told me you’d-” The rest of his words seemed to die on Kengkla’s tongue when he laid eyes on Techno.

The look of worry on his face intensified and Kengkla reached out to touch Techno’s shoulder gently. “Can I...Can I comfort you, P’No?”

The dams broke. “I lost, Kla.” Techno sobbed into Kengkla’s shoulder when the other pulled him into a hug. “I lost…” He just let it all out, let the tears wash out his frustration and disappointment. All the while, Kengkla was murmuring sweet nothings into his ear.

“I’m here with you, phi. I’m here.”

When Techno calmed down a little bit, he picked up some of the other words Kengkla was whispering. “I love you, P’No.”

He pushed the other away. “That’s...That’s another story.” Techno wiped away some of his tears. “I still don’t know how to face you, how to answer you.” He turned to walk away but then stopped for a moment. “Thank you. Thank you for comforting me, Kla.” He gave the other a small smile and then limped off, leaving Kengkla behind.

Techno didn’t want to turn around and look at Kengkla’s face. Didn’t want to see what kind of emotions would be visible on it. But he could picture them. Could picture the hurt and confusion. He knew he owed the other an answer. And now, with nothing else to occupy his mind, he knew he had to do some thinking. But thinking about it all by himself had gotten him nowhere.

So he decided to get help. And there was only one person he could ask.

It happened when both of them had already downed a couple of beers. Techno needed the liquid courage. Sober, he would probably not have breached the subject.

“Say Type...when...how did you start off with Tharn back then?” Techno asked his best friend.

Type raised an eyebrow. “Why do you want to know? And on top of that, now?”

“Hey, well, you know, you’ll have been together for three years soon! That’s pretty auspicious! And I thought it would be nice to go down memory lane for a bit for that occasion?”

Huffing, Type took a swig from his beer before he answered, “Asshole cornered me in our dorm room bathroom and then sucked me off.”

Techno choked on his drink. “Oh god so love does start with a blowjob!”

(will eventually be continued in posted on Ao3)

You're up mousi-senpai!