writetomyheart | [team one] a trip down memory lane

~2k of Kairi outside pov of Riku's pining over Sora. so... pre soriku. Kingdom hearts, g-rated.

“i didn't expect you to be a teacher's pet"

“Riku…” Kairi protested, shoving her books into his arms. Nearby, Sora laughed when Riku was pushed back a bit. “Better a teacher's pet then in detention. Again.”

Another round of laughter as they all grabbed their school bags.

In the doorway, another Kairi— older, sadder, but more determined, sat watching the scene for a little longer before waving her hand, dissipating the memory.

More scenes swirled around her— growing up with Sora and Riku, their days filled with school, trips to the beach, building the raft— but none of them would help her.

She sighed. Where in her heart would she ever find Sora?

“Sora lets take the raft and go!”

She gasped, stopping the swirl of memories and focusing on this scene. Right… the night before they planned to leave.

The night the island disappeared.

“Sora! Let’s take the raft and go! Just the two of us!”

Sora’s look of bafflement still made Kairi laugh.

“Just kidding!”

Kairi wasn’t sure if she had been kidding or not. She remembered her worries just before this moment. Riku had changed, and she had been right about that.

She just wished she had spoken up before then.

Viewing the memory was strange. While she could watch Sora and her younger self continue to talk, Kairi could also take in the rest of the scene, the Paopu island int he distance, the rowboats ready to take them back ot the mainland.

And—

Kairi gasped, leaving Sora and the younger Kairi behind on the dock to take a closer look.

But yes, just hidden behind a tree near the secret place, Riku stood, glaring down at the dock. Right to where Sora and Kairi now peacefully watched the sunset.

Kairi stepped closer, not worrying about Riku seeing her. This was just a memory after all.

Did Riku hear them? Did he—

Kairi felt her face heat up.

Did he hear her say that she wanted to only take Sora on the raft?

Judging by the hurt in his eyes, he had, indeed, heard her. Even if she had just been kidding, it was a very unkind thing to say.

She reached out, even though he could not see her. “Riku…”

But he ran off, deeper into the cavern of the secret place.

“Riku!” She called out, but she could not follow. It was no longer her memory.

The image faded, then disappeared, more memories swirled— faded, half dreamed things of Sora’s first adventure that she had ‘experienced’ when she was safe in Sora’s heart, though her body—

“Finally.”

Kairi gasped at Riku’s voice. She turned, seeing a younger version— the same as from her first adventure.

But when was this?

Her question was answered when she saw herself in Riku’s arms, still half asleep.

Belatedly, Kairi realized that, though she did not consciously remember, some part of her was aware of what was going on to remember. Enough to etch a memory in her heart.

Riku set her down to the floor carefully, even as his own body seemed to want to collapse.

“It was reckless to bring her here without a vessel.”

Kairi gasped, turning to find Maleficent stalking towards them.

Riku dropped down to a knee, even though he was still breathing hard.

Kairi watched as Maleficent “awakened” the dark power in Riku’s heart. Was this the moment that Riku lost his heart? Or—

Another roar echoed through the castle, dragging her from her thoughts. Maleficent had left the room, leaving Riku instructions to “take care” of the stowaway.

Riku scoffed as the dark fairy left, leaning down to pick Kairi up once more.

“S’ra…” Kairi heard her youngerself mumble.

“Yeah yeah…” Riku rolled his eyes. “He’s probably on his way. Him and his new friends. He doesn’t need us anymore Kairi.”

The younger Kairi, of course, didn’t answer.

Still Riku continue to mutter as he carried Kairi to another room. “Stupid Sora and his stupid smile and stupid friends.”

The older Kairi frowned as he continued on his tirade. Even though the words were angry, Kairi noticed that his tone sounded… fond?

Of course he would be. Sora was his oldest friend. But —

Kairi looked back at the front doors. She knew that eventually, Sora would come. Would sacrifice himself to awaken her, and she in turn would save him from the darkness.

That story has already been told. And Sora, the Sora who disappeared, he would not be found there.

Kairi closed her eyes, allowing the memory to fade and disappear.

Maybe she had been going about this a bit wrong. She could continue to search her own heart, but to restore her, Sora said he had followed the connection through their friends.

Maybe she had to search her bonds with friends to find pieces of him?

If she focused, she could feel her bonds to others. Aquas was old and thin, but much like a strong thread, it remained unfrayed, a connection Kairi hoped to strengthen once she woke. Lea’s was stronger, forged by their days int he forest training. Namine was equally strong, as were the bonds with her new friends like Xion and Roxas.

Her bond with sora was— she wouldn’t say broken. Before he had left, they had reforged it a bit, added new links to old bonds. She could still feel him on the other end. But the bond was fractured, like a chain with weakened links. She couldn’t pull on it too hard or it would snap, and then Sora would be lost to her.

However, it didn’t prepare her for what her bond with Riku looked like.

It was clearly strained, fading in and out like a ghost.

Swallowing her misgivings, she followed it. Suddenly, she regretted ever agreeing to sleep to search her own heart. She regretted letting him sit alone on the beach the night before they left.

She regretted joking with Sora about taking the boat.

She wished she had spoken up sooner.

But, eventually she found the other end of the bond.

She couldn’t view Riku’s memories, or search his heart for clues. But she could feel Riku.

With the state of their bond, she had feared it might be cold to her, but it was warm and full of light. Light that was made all the brighter by the shadows at the edges of his heart.

Could he feel her? Wonder what she was doing in his heart?

She could feel his worry both for Sora and for her as she continued to sleep. His determination to find Sora, and his exhaustion as his nightmares plagued him.

Nightmares where he searched for Sora.

Kairi could catch glimpses of these fears in Riku’s heart. His wishes and dreams and—

One image became clear above the others and Kairi tried to focus on it, tuning out all other feelings that threated to swamp her.

It didn’t appear to be a memory, but nor was it a nightmare.

It was just Riku and Sora in an embrace, Riku’s arms circling Sora’s waist tightly, while Sora’s own arms threated to choke Riku in their excitement.

While Sora’s face was that grin Kairi always knew, it was the expression on Riku’s face that left her speechless.

It was absolutely serene, bereft of any of the fears and worries that currently plagued Riku’s heart.

And his eyes—

Oh… Kairi’s read stories about that kind of look. The girls back home would swoon over a look like that if Riku had ever directed it at them.

But this look was for Sora alone.

“Oh… Riku…”

This was Riku’s dream, his hope, his wish.

Sora safe and Riku—

Riku free to express his love for Sora.

And even here, Kairi could see the darkness around the edges of the image, the fear from Riku that this dream could never be, that he would have to keep that wish locked away.

Kairi suddenly knew with absolute certainty that Riku would sacrifice his deepest wish if he thought it would make Sora happy.

She shouldn’t be here. This was Riku's deepest, secret wish and if he wanted Kairi to know about it, he would have told her. Maybe. But she shouldn’t be intruding like this. Quickly backing up, Kairi followed the bond back to her own heart. Tears began to fall down her face and she roughly brushed them away.

She too would give anything to see Sora happy. And in the end, it would be Sora’s choice.

And for the first time, Kairi wasn’t sure if she would come first.

She suddenly remembered that night back on the dock, joking with Sora, though now she realized his bafflement wasn’t the shock of hearing her say they should just take the raft.

It was bafflement at the thought of leaving Riku behind.

She also realized that her joke of taking the raft, just the two of them— it stemmed from the same fear Riku must have felt in that moment.

The fear of Sora leaving them behind. Of Sora changing.

Kairi sighed and pulled on a piece of hair, fiddling with the blunt edges of her hasty haircut. She remembered wondering if Sora liked short hair.

Right after she had just seen Riku with his new haircut.

Groaning, Kair threw her hair back and stared at the road ahead.

She would have to sort through these realizations later. For now, none of it would matter if they didn’t find Sora first.

With a sigh, she continued on, tracing her memories and her connection to Sora, searching past adventures, and only finding Xehanort and a hidden memory at the end of it all.

The man sure did like to hear himself talk.

When she first woke up, her first thought was to see Riku. But she was waylaid by worried scientists and a sudden weakness in her limbs.

Maybe sleeping for a year wasn’t her best idea. But she had no idea it had been so long.

By the time she felt well enough to go find Riku, he ended up coming to her.

And then suddenly, they were someplace else all together.

“I want to go with you.”

She saw the regret in Riku’s eyes before he even opened his mouth. “Kairi… that’s not—”

Right.

Kairi sighed and held herself back. “I know,” she acknowledged, “I want to go… but I need to get stronger.”

She was resolved. She needed to support her friends, and to do that, she’d need to find her own strength. It wasn’t going to come by chasing after them, but by learning to do this keyblade thing on her own.

Well… with maybe a bit of help from a more experienced master.

“Good.” Riku nodded and turned to go.

Kairi’s heart ached and she reached out to grab his hand.

“Wait!”

He obliged, tilting his head in question.

She thought quickly. What did she want to say? Tell him to be safe? Ask if he would ever tell Sora how he felt?

Kairi bit her lip, reaching for her necklace, a nervous habit from childhood— oh

Kairi jerked, tearing the necklace off. “Here. It saved me when i was little. Hopefully it’ll keep you safe too. But you better bring it back!” She smiled as she wrapped Riku’s fingers around the necklace. “I mean it. You and Sora are just taking all of my good luck charms. I won’t have any left.”

“Kairi…I—”

Kairi grinned and reached up to grasp Riku’s shoulder. He was so tall now.

“You’re going to find him. I know it. And you’re going to bring him home safe and sound. And when you both come back, we’ll watch the sunset on the paopu island. The three of us, together.”

And maybe by then she’d be strong enough to spar with him, to ask him about his own adventures.

To be his friend again.

Riku took a shaky breath, nodding jerkily, though Kairi thought she saw a tear trail down his face.

Kairi smiled. “Just believe in your dreams, Riku.”

Riku nodded again, and grasped Kairi’s necklace tightly. “I’ll bring it back. And I’ll make sure Sora gives back the wayfinder charm this time.”

“You better!” Kairi laughed.

She promised to explain everything to their friends, and, together with the Fairy Godmother, she saw Riku off.

For once, she didn’t feel left behind. She knew that he was in her heart. Him and Sora.

Their bond was still a bit strained, but never broken.

I will tag kit on discord with "their bond was still a bit strained, but never broken."